Many of our community members asked us to create a list of gaslighting phrases.
So, we sent out a survey asking for the most common phrases the abusive people in their lives would use when gaslighting them.
This article lists the 100 most common gaslighting phrases our amazing community members provided us via the survey.
I hope you find this list helpful, but there is something really important that I want you to keep in mind when reading through this list.
You might read through this list and think to yourself, “Hm… I’ve said some of these.”
This does not mean you have gaslighted someone.
I wanted to say this because there is a chance that you’ve said some of these phrases to the abusive person in your life.
For example, number 27 on this list is “You’re making things up again.”
If you have someone in your life who is gaslighting you, there is a high probability that you have said something like this to them.
It does not mean that you are gaslighting them.
What makes gaslighting, gaslighting, is the manipulative, confusing, and profoundly invalidating environment that abusive people create.
Suggested Reading: Why Does Gaslighting Work So Well? (6 Reasons)
Common Phrases People Use to Gaslight Others
- “You’re just too sensitive.”
- “You’re overreacting.”
- “I never said that.”
- “You must be remembering it wrong.”
- “I was just joking. Can’t you take a joke?”
- “Everyone agrees with me.”
- “You’re always making things up.”
- “Why would you think that? You’re crazy.”
- “You’re just looking for reasons to be upset.”
- “No one else has a problem with it, just you.”
- “You’re being paranoid.”
- “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
- “Why are you always trying to start an argument?”
- “You’re imagining things.”
- “You used to be fun, now you’re always looking for issues.”
- “It’s all in your head.”
- “You always twist my words.”
- “You have a selective memory.”
- “I don’t remember doing that, so it probably didn’t happen.”
- “I never did that. You must be thinking of someone else.”
- “Why do you always have to make things about you?”
- “You’re just trying to make me look bad.”
- “It’s not that big of a deal. You’re blowing it out of proportion.”
- “You’re not remembering it correctly. Trust me.”
- “You always play the victim.”
- “Why are you always so defensive?”
- “You’re making things up again.”
- “Nobody believes you.”
- “I think you need professional help.”
- “I told you about this. You just don’t listen.”
- “I do everything for you, and this is how you repay me?”
- “I know you better than you know yourself.”
- “You always forget things, so it’s no surprise you don’t remember.”
- “You never give me credit for anything.”
- “You always do this when you want attention.”
- “You’ve changed. This isn’t the person I knew.”
- “You’re too emotional. That’s why you think this way.”
- “Everyone thinks you’re overreacting.”
- “I’m the only one who really cares about you.”
- “Why can’t you see things from my perspective for once?”
- “You’ll realize I’m right when you calm down.”
- “You’ve always had a problem with perceiving reality.”
- “I’m only doing this because I care about you.”
- “You’re just trying to make me the villain.”
- “Nobody else sees it this way. Think about that.”
- “It’s your mental state that’s the problem.”
- “This is why people talk about you.”
- “I’m the best thing that’s ever happened to you.”
- “I’ve done nothing wrong; you just love playing the blame game.”
- “You know, not everything is about you.”
- “Stop taking things so personally.”
- “You’re always looking for problems.”
- “That never happened. Why would you say that?”
- “You’re making a mountain out of a molehill.”
- “That’s just your insecurity talking.”
- “Why are you always so negative?”
- “You’re too much sometimes.”
- “You never see the good things, only the bad.”
- “You’re always overthinking things.”
- “I don’t know why you’re making such a big deal out of this.”
- “There’s something wrong with the way you think.”
- “Can’t you see I’m trying my best? Why isn’t that enough for you?”
- “Stop trying to create drama.”
- “You always misunderstand what I say.”
- “You’re just not thinking clearly right now.”
- “I never promised that; you must have dreamt it.”
- “You’re the only one who feels that way.”
- “Don’t you trust me?”
- “You always jump to conclusions.”
- “Why can’t you just let things go?”
- “You always remember things wrong.”
- “It’s just your imagination again.”
- “You’re over-exaggerating, as usual.”
- “Why are you making yourself the center of the story?”
- “You need to learn to differentiate between reality and your feelings.”
- “Why do you always need reassurance? It’s exhausting.”
- “You’ll never find someone who understands you like I do.”
- “You’re not being rational right now.”
- “I didn’t hurt you; you hurt yourself by misunderstanding me.”
- “Everyone else understands what I meant. Why don’t you?”
- “You’re just looking for reasons to be mad at me.”
- “I think you’re forgetting a lot lately.”
- “You’ve always been too sensitive, even others say so.”
- “Why do you always take things out of context?”
- “You know, sometimes I think you do this to yourself on purpose.”
- “You’re just not as mature as I thought.”
- “I never expected you to react this way.”
- “You should be grateful for all I do for you.”
- “Stop acting like a martyr.”
- “You always play the innocence card.”
- “It’s like you thrive on being a victim.”
- “You always want to be right, don’t you?”
- “It’s always about your feelings, what about mine?”
- “You’re not the same person anymore; something’s off with you.”
- “You never appreciate the good times, only focus on the bad.”
- “Are you sure you’re not being influenced by someone else against me?”
- “You should know better than to think like that.”
- “You’re letting your friends/family cloud your judgment about me.”
- “I’m surprised you’re acting this way. It’s unlike you.”
- “I thought you knew me better than to accuse me of this.”
What Should You Take Away from This Article?
I want to thank all our community members who helped us assemble this list and you for reading this article. I hope this brought you value.
About the Author
Hey, I’m Elijah.
I experienced narcissistic abuse for three years.
I create these articles to help you understand and validate your experiences.
Thank you for reading, and remember, healing is possible even when it feels impossible.