November 18, 2024 at 2:00pm EST

A Must-Know Tip

If you ever have to communicate with a narcissist, the best thing you can do is be brief, informative, friendly, and firm.

This approach is called the BIFF Method.

For example, imagine the narcissist says:

“I can’t believe you didn’t invite me to your event. It’s like you don’t even care about our relationship. Do you just not want me in your life?”

You could respond:

“I’m sorry you feel that way. I planned a small gathering this time but will keep you in mind for future events.”

In this response:

• You keep it brief by not explaining or justifying your decision.
• You’re informative by acknowledging their feelings and giving a simple reason without diving into unnecessary details.
• You stay friendly and respectful, maintaining a calm tone.
• And you’re firm by gently closing the topic and not apologizing excessively or promising anything you don’t intend to do.

The reason this method can be so effective is because it keeps things simple and to the point, limiting a narcissist’s ability to manipulate you.

So, the next time you cross paths with a narcissist, remember these four points:

• Brief: Keep it short.
• Informative: Stick to the facts.
• Friendly: Stay polite.
• Firm: Set boundaries.

All the best,

Juliana