September 18, 2024 at 2:01pm EST

A Simple Exercise to Create Your Own Space

Hey,

Do you feel like you don’t have control over your environment?

If you’re not sure, some common signs include:

• You often question your own decisions or feelings.
• Even small choices feel overwhelming.
• You’re always expecting something terrible to happen.
• You prioritize keeping the peace over expressing your needs.
• You feel cut off from friends, family, or support systems.
• You feel drained, like everything is too much to handle.

We’re asking because one of our members shared a great exercise he has been using to address this effect of narcissistic abuse.

We like it and thought we’d share it with you: 

Step 1: Identify a Small Area That’s Yours:

Pick a space that you can fully control. It could be as small as a desk, a corner of your bedroom or even just a single drawer.

The key is choosing a space you can claim as yours without outside interference.

Step 2: Make a Tiny, Intentional Change

Once you’ve picked the space, make a small change that reflects you. 

It could be something as small as adding a plant, rearranging your books in a way that feels calming, or putting up a photo that makes you smile. 

I (the person who posted this) personally started by changing the way I organized my desk—placing objects that inspired me in view.

Step 3: Reinforce the Ownership of the Space

Every time you look at or use this space, remind yourself that this belongs to you. It’s a space that reflects your choices and identity. 

This small act of reclaiming control can help rebuild a sense of autonomy, even if your larger environment feels overwhelming.

Step 4: Expand When You’re Ready

Once you feel comfortable with your small space, you can gradually expand the practice to other areas of your life or home, for example.

It’s not about redecorating your entire life but rather taking ownership of little pockets that represent your individuality and freedom.

All the best,

The Unfilteredd Team