September 25, 2024 at 2:06pm EST

Are You Walking On Eggshells?

Hey, it’s Juliana!

Can you relate to this at all?

“When I’m in safe environments, I still feel like I have to watch everything I say and do because I’m scared I’ll upset someone if I’m not careful.”

This feeling is often referred to as “walking on eggshells.”

It’s a very common feeling to experience because of how unpredictable and explosive narcissists tend to be.

Even when we’re not around them, this fear of triggering a negative reaction can significantly influence our social interactions.

So, we created this exercise to help people who can’t shake this feeling even though they’re around trustworthy and safe people.

Here it is:

Reality-Checking Exercise

Step 1: Pause and Take a Breath

When you start to feel like you’re walking on eggshells, pause.

Take a deep breath in and slowly exhale.

This simple act can help you release some of the tension and fear, allowing you to center yourself before moving on to the next steps.

Step 2: Ask Yourself These Questions

When you’re feeling on edge, ask yourself one or more of the following questions to check in with reality:

• Is there any real evidence that I’m in danger here?
• Am I making this situation out to be worse than it is?
• What exactly is making me feel so on edge right now?
• Is my body reacting out of habit, or is something wrong?
• Why do I feel so tense—can I figure out what’s triggering this?

These questions are designed to help you assess whether your anxiety is based on the current situation or if it’s a reaction to past experiences.

Step 3: Remind Yourself of Trustworthy People

If asking these questions doesn’t help right away, take a moment to mentally list times when the people around you have proven to be trustworthy and supportive.

For example, think about:

• Times when they respected your boundaries.
• Moments when they showed empathy and understanding.
• Situations where they made you feel safe and cared for.

This can serve as a reminder that you’re in a safe environment and that the people around you are not there to harm you.

Step 4: Practice and Patience

Reality-checking is a skill that takes time to develop. Be patient with yourself as you practice this exercise. 

The more you use these questions, the easier it will become to calm your mind and feel secure in safe environments.

Guidelines for Reality-Checking

• Start small: Begin by using this exercise in low-stress situations, and gradually apply it in more challenging ones.
• Be consistent: The more you practice, the more effective it will become.
• Stay kind to yourself: It’s okay if this doesn’t work perfectly every time. The goal is progress, not perfection.
• Reach out if needed: If you find this exercise difficult, consider talking to a mental health professional who can provide additional support and guidance.

All the best,

Juliana

The Unfilteredd Team