October 11 at 2:00pm EST

I Let Go of the Need for Closure

Hey, it’s Juliana!

I’m adding a new series to the emails I send you.

I don’t have a name for it.

But they’re short success stories with advice.

Here’s the first one from our member DanielL_75:

After I finalized my divorce and started distancing myself from my parents, I went on a mission to find closure.

I thought that if I could get an apology or if they acknowledged their behavior, I’d finally be able to move on.

But that moment never came.

It took me a long time (longer than I’d like to admit), but I eventually realized that waiting for closure kept me stuck in the past.

So, instead of looking for answers or validation from them, I turned inward and asked myself, “What do I need to close this chapter of my life?”

I realized I needed the following:

• Distance from my abusers
• Space to process everything and heal
• Time to figure out who I truly am
• Time to align my life with my core values

So, I started pursuing each of these needs.

Now, the weight I’d been carrying has lifted.

My days feel lighter, and the tightness in my chest has faded.

My nightmares have stopped, and I can finally sleep through the night.

The constant noise in my head has quieted, making room for hope and a sense of peace I never thought I’d find again.

I feel stronger.

I can finally make my own choices without being held back by anyone’s toxic expectations or judgments.

For the first time in a long time, I truly feel like I’m living my life.

I’m not a punching bag for the abusers in my life anymore.

I’m just unapologetically me.

And I love it.

If you’re searching for closure, the most important lesson I learned is this: There’s a big difference between what you want and what you need .

I wanted my ex and parents to acknowledge the pain they caused. I wanted them to admit their mistakes and apologize.

I thought that hearing those words would set me free.

But those wants kept me stuck, waiting for something outside my control—something that, deep down, I knew would never come.

Needs are different. Needs are about what you can give yourself.

I had to recognize that while I wanted an apology, I needed distance, time, and space to process everything, heal, and find my peace.

I needed to accept that their acknowledgment wasn’t coming and that my healing couldn’t depend on their actions.

If I’d kept chasing after what I wanted, I would have stayed stuck, always hoping for something that wasn’t mine to control.

When you focus on what you truly need , you stop giving your power away.

I know it’s not easy to let go of the hopes and expectations that come with wanting closure from others, but it’s the only way to take back your life.

All the best,

Juliana