Raised by a strict, narcissistic mother, Lucianne Gerrard was trained to always put her mother first, then everyone else second, and never think about herself or her own needs (because that was selfish). Being in a constant state of terror, her main focus was always trying to please her mother even when it was detrimental to her. The most important part of her life was to “keep the beast calm” and do whatever was required in order to not “awake the beast” if she was quiet/ not criticizing or humiliating her. She always knew that her absolute fear of her mother wasn’t “normal” but it wasn’t until 40+ years later when she was studying narcissism during her Psychology degree that, finally, everything made sense. She still remembers reading the chapter on narcissism in her text book and thinking “wow, this is my whole family!”. Furthermore, she had gone on in life with narcissistic boyfriends and even friends.
At the age of 35, Lucianne had also had quite a sudden severe physical illness leaving her unable to move the limbs on the left side of her body. She knew that this was due to her childhood traumas which she hadn’t addressed and sought help to get over the rage she felt towards her mother. Through counselling, she was finally able to tell someone all about the things that she was still angry about and, over time, she felt much better. As the left side of her body healed, Lucianne also discovered her hidden “pots of rage” inside her. Once she could feel the rage, she could finally release it… in a healthy manner(!) to finally take her own power back and be in control of her emotions rather than them having control over her.
Throughout her counselling, however, the word narcissism had not been mentioned or addressed and some of her counsellors didn’t actually understand it because they hadn’t actually been through it themselves. This helped Lucianne to realize how important it was to have a counsellor who has personally experienced narcissistic relationships and, as a counsellor, she specialized in helping survivors of NA.
Therefore, with her foundation of personal experience of NA in relationships with both parents, sibling, partners, and friends, together with her years of studying the academic research on narcissism, she feels that she is well equipped to help people (of any age) heal from their narcissistic abuse, validate their feelings, support understanding of the narcissistic techniques that seem to be universal and help them build a happier, safer, narcissist-free future.
Over the last decade, more and more attention has been paid to the word “narcissism” and more recently, there has also been an increase in help available, especially on the internet. Lucianne is very glad and happy to join “Unfilteredd” to help more survivors of NA.
- Humanistic Counselling, BA (Honours)
- Psychology, BSc (First class, Honours)
- Cognitive Neuroscience and Neuroimaging, MSc
- Primary Education, BEd (Honours)
- Registered member of the BACP (British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy)
- Clinically Addressing Narcissistic Abuse (Dr. Ramani)
- Bearing Witness and Paradigm Shifts (Dr. Ramani)
- Helping Clients Heal Trauma and PTSD (Janina Fisher)
- Working with Narcissism: 10 Core Techniques for Healing from Narcissistic Abuse (Dr. Ramani)
- Working with Narcissism (The Counselling Academy)
- A Counsellor’s Guide to Working with Anxiety (The Counselling Academy)
- A Counsellor’s Guide to Working with PTSD (The Counselling Academy)
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