After experiencing narcissistic abuse, you may feel lost, unsure of what truly brings you joy or how to rebuild your life. 

The damage done by this type of abuse can leave you questioning your worth and what happiness even looks like for you.

To overcome this effect of narcissistic abuse, try following these seven steps:

  1. Reflect on what has made you happy in the past.
  2. Organize your activities into daily, weekly, and monthly categories.
  3. Rank these activities based on how much joy they bring you.
  4. Identify similar activities that could bring you new happiness.
  5. Expand your list to include a variety of options.
  6. Map out a plan for incorporating these activities into your life.
  7. Execute your plan, reflect on the results, and adjust as needed.

In this article, I’ll guide you through each of these seven steps to help you find true happiness after experiencing narcissistic abuse. 

Step 1: Reflect on What Has Made You Happy in the Past

Start by finding a quiet place where you can focus without any distractions. Take a few deep breaths and allow yourself to relax. 

Now, think back over different periods in your life—childhood, teenage years, and adulthood—and try to remember times when you felt truly happy or content.

What were you doing during those moments? Who were you with? What experiences, activities, or interactions made you feel good? 

Don’t limit yourself to big events; even small, everyday moments that brought a smile to your face are important.

As these memories come to mind, write them down in a list. 

You don’t have to worry about organizing them or whether they’re big or small; just capture everything that made you feel happy.

This list is your personal record of joy, and it’s the first step in understanding what truly makes you happy.

A survivor of narcissistic abuse thinking about what made them happy in the past.

Step 2: Organize Your List into Categories

Now that you have a list of activities and experiences that have made you happy, it’s time to organize them. Look at each item on your list and think about how often you can realistically do each one.

Some activities might be simple and easy to do daily, like reading a chapter of a book, taking a short walk, or listening to music. 

These are your daily activities—things that don’t take much time or effort but can still bring you joy on a daily basis.

Other activities might require a bit more time or planning, like meeting up with friends, attending a class, or going for a longer hike.

These are your weekly activities—things that might not fit into your daily routine but are manageable on a weekly basis.

Finally, some activities take more effort, planning, or time, like going on a weekend trip, attending a special event, or starting a new hobby. 

These are your monthly activities—the bigger or more special things you can plan for on a monthly basis.

By grouping your activities into daily, weekly, and monthly categories, you create a clear picture of how these joyful moments can fit into your life. 

Step 3: Rank the Activities in Each Category

Now that you’ve organized your activities into daily, weekly, and monthly categories, it’s time to figure out which ones bring you the most joy. 

To do this, look at each activity and rate it on a scale from 1 to 10.

On this scale:

  • 1 means the activity brings you only a little bit of happiness.
  • 10 means the activity makes you feel extremely happy and fulfilled.

Go through each category—daily, weekly, and monthly—and give each activity a number based on how happy it makes you feel. 

Once you’ve rated them all, put the activities in order within each category, starting with the ones with the highest numbers.

This way, you’ll know which activities bring you the most happiness when planning your days, weeks, and months. 

Step 4: Identify Similar Activities

Now that you’ve ranked your activities, it’s time to think about why these activities make you happy. 

Look at each activity on your list, and ask yourself what it is about that activity that brings you joy. 

Is it the physical movement, the creativity, the social interaction, or maybe the sense of accomplishment?

Once you’ve identified what you enjoy most about each activity, start brainstorming other activities that might give you a similar feeling. 

For example, if you love hiking because it gets you out into nature and gives you a sense of adventure, you might also enjoy trail running, bird watching, or even gardening. 

If you like painting because it lets you express your creativity, you might find joy in other creative pursuits like drawing, sculpting, or photography.

Write these new ideas down next to the original activities on your list. 

The goal here is to expand your options by discovering activities that are similar in nature to what you already enjoy. 

Step 5: Expand Your List

Combine the original list of activities that have brought you happiness from steps 1-3 with the new activities you brainstormed in the fourth step. 

This expanded list is crucial for the coming steps because it provides many options for planning your daily, weekly, and monthly activities. 

Having a diverse set of activities ensures that you’re not only doing what you already know makes you happy but also exploring new possibilities that could bring even more happiness into your life. 

This variety will help keep your routine fresh and enjoyable, making it easier to stick with your pursuit of happiness.

Step 6: Map Out Your Daily, Weekly, and Monthly Activities

Now that you have a comprehensive list of activities, it’s time to create a plan for the next month. 

Start by choosing a couple of activities from your daily list—things you can easily do every day. 

Pick two or three activities that you can rotate through, like reading, journaling, and taking a short walk.

Next, select a few activities from your weekly list. Choose two or three that you can rotate through each week. 

For example, one week, you might go to a yoga class; the next week, you have a coffee date with a friend; and the following week, you spend time on a creative project.

Finally, choose two activities from your monthly list. 

These are bigger activities that you can spread out over the month. 

You might plan a day trip for the first half of the month and then try a new hobby or attend an event in the second half.

Once you’ve chosen your activities, map them out on a calendar. Be sure to leave some room for spontaneity and adjustments as needed. 

Step 7: Execute, Reflect, and Adjust

Now that you’ve mapped out your daily, weekly, and monthly activities, it’s time to put your plan into action. 

Follow the schedule you created for the month, engaging in your chosen daily activities, rotating through your weekly ones, and completing your two planned monthly activities. 

Stick to your plan as much as possible, but remember, it’s okay to be flexible if something unexpected comes up.

As you go through the month, take some time to reflect on how these activities are affecting your happiness. 

At the end of each day, week, or after completing a monthly activity, think about how you felt during and after the activity. 

Did it bring you the joy or satisfaction you expected? Was it worth the time and effort? Were there any surprises—good or bad?

Based on these reflections, adjust your plan as needed. If certain activities consistently make you happy, consider doing them more often. 

If something didn’t work as well as you hoped, try replacing it with another activity from your list or brainstorm new ideas. 

The goal is to keep fine-tuning your routine so that it increasingly aligns with what truly brings you happiness.

Final Thoughts

I hope these steps help you on your journey to finding happiness after experiencing narcissistic abuse.

Remember, healing takes time, but by taking these steps, you’re actively moving toward a brighter, more fulfilling life. 

Thank you for reading, and I wish you strength and joy as you continue to reclaim your happiness.

Our Latest Articles

About the Author

Hey, I’m Elijah.

I experienced narcissistic abuse for several years and was shocked by just how common it is. I create these articles to spread awareness.

But I’m not alone—there are many others here at Unfilteredd, all dedicated to helping people like you live a life free from the effects of narcissistic abuse.

If you’d like to learn more about how we can help, please click the button below.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.