A popular question among some of our community members is, “What makes love bombing so dangerous?”

Love bombing is dangerous because it creates a false sense of security, is controlling and manipulative, creates dependency, masks abusive behavior, isolates the target from their friends and family, damages their self-esteem, pushes them to the brink of exhaustion, and quickens the pace of the relationship.

In this article, I will guide you through these eight reasons to help you better understand why love bombing is so dangerous.

1.) It Creates a False Sense of Security

When someone is showered with affection, gifts, and attention, it naturally makes them feel special, valued, and secure in the relationship.

This excessive attention at the start can create a false sense of security, as the target may believe that the other person is genuinely caring and invested in the relationship.

Two people hugging.

This makes it harder for the target to recognize and address red flags or manipulative behaviors because they believe the other person deeply cares for them.

This false sense of security is dangerous because it makes the target vulnerable to further manipulation and abuse.

2.) Love Bombing Is Manipulative and Controlling

The main purpose of love bombing is to gain control over another person.

The love bomber showers the target with affection and attention to gain their trust and loyalty.

Once the target is hooked and emotionally invested in the relationship, the love bomber begins controlling and manipulating the target to get what they want.

This is dangerous because the targets may not realize they are being manipulated until they are deeply invested in the relationship.

When this happens, it becomes much harder to leave the relationship, trapping the target within the abuse cycle for the foreseeable future.

3.) It Creates a Sense of Dependency

Love bombing can create a sense of dependency within the target.

This is because the love bomber often positions themselves as the primary source of the target’s happiness, self-esteem, and well-being.

Suggested Reading: 11 Things Narcissists Do During the Love Bombing Phase

Let me explain how…

At the start of the relationship, the love bomber showers the target with affection to make them feel valued and special.

Over time, this can cause the target to associate their self-worth and happiness with the love bomber’s affection and approval.

A therpist talking about love bombing.

In fact, the target may even start to rely on the love bomber for their emotional well-being, feeling happy when they receive affection and devastated when it is withheld.

This dependency is dangerous because it makes it extremely difficult for the target to cut ties with the love bomber, even though the environment is toxic and abusive.

4.) It Masks Abusive Behavior

Love bombing is often used as a smokescreen to mask the love bomber’s true intentions and abusive behaviors.

In the beginning, the excessive affection and attention can make it difficult for the target to recognize the love bomber’s manipulative and controlling tendencies.

The target may dismiss or rationalize red flags because they are overwhelmed by the positive attention they are receiving.

This is dangerous because it allows the abuser to establish a pattern of abuse without the target realizing what is happening until it is too late.

5.) It Isolates the Target from Their Support System

Isolation in the context of love bombing involves the love bomber intentionally cutting off the target from their support network of friends and family.

This can be done subtly by monopolizing the target’s time so they don’t have time for others.

Or more overtly, by criticizing the target’s friends and family or making them feel guilty for spending time with others.

A narcissist being manipulative.

Over time, this isolation leaves the target without a support network or alternative perspectives that could help them recognize the abusive behavior of the love bomber.

This is dangerous because it leaves the target more vulnerable to the love bomber’s manipulation and control, making it much harder for the target to leave.

6.) It Damages the Self-Esteem of the Target

The cycle of excessive affection followed by neglect or abuse can severely damage the target’s self-esteem.

You see, at the start, the love bomber’s attention can make the target feel incredibly valued and special.

However, once the love bomber starts to withdraw their affection or treat the target poorly, it can cause the target to question their self-worth and value in the relationship.

The target may start to believe that they are at fault for the love bomber’s change in behavior and may work even harder to regain their affection.

Sadly, this leads to a vicious cycle of seeking validation from the love bomber.

This is dangerous because it can cause a severe decline in the target’s self-esteem, making it harder for them to leave the relationship and seek help.

Suggested Reading: 10 Ways to Build Self-Esteem After Narcissistic Abuse

7.) It Creates an Exhausting Emotional Roller Coaster

The emotional roller coaster created by love bombing involves alternating between extreme affection and cold detachment.

This keeps the target off balance.

For example, the love bomber may send dozens of messages one day, expressing their love and affection.

Then, suddenly stop communicating the next day without any explanation.

This unpredictable behavior creates confusion, anxiety, and low self-esteem for the target as they constantly question what they did wrong.

Over time, this emotional roller coaster can become exhausting because of the energy the target uses to try to regain the love bomber’s affection.

This exhaustion is dangerous because it makes the target more susceptible to the love bomber’s manipulation and control.

It also makes it harder for the target to acknowledge the abusive nature of the relationship and take steps to protect themselves.

8.) It Quickens the Pace of the Relationship

Love bombing often speeds up the pace of the relationship, causing the target to make decisions and commitments without fully considering the consequences.

The love bomber may push for things like sharing finances, living together, or even marriage very quickly.

A narcissist trying to speed up a relationship.

This can be overwhelming for the target because the affection and attention make them feel like they have a once-in-a-lifetime connection with the love bomber.

This rushed pace is dangerous because it does not allow the target enough time to assess the love bomber’s true character, intentions, or suitability as a partner.

Suggested Reading: How to Set Boundaries with a Narcissist (6 Steps)

It also makes it harder for the target to recognize red flags or manipulative behaviors because they are caught up in the whirlwind romance.

What Should You Take Away from This Article?

Love bombing is one of the most dangerous manipulation tactics abusers use to gain power and control over their targets.

About the Author

Hey, I’m Elijah.

I experienced narcissistic abuse for three years. 

I create these articles to help you understand and validate your experiences.

Thank you for reading, and remember, healing is possible even when it feels impossible.

If you’re ready to heal, visit The Institute of Healing from Narcissistic Abuse to get started.


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