5 Reasons Narcissists Expect You to Read Their Minds

A question we got during our last therapist-led Q&A session but didn’t have time to answer was, “Why do narcissists expect us to read their minds?”

The five reasons narcissists expect you to read their minds are their sense of entitlement, lack of self-awareness, belief they are special and unique, manipulative tendencies, and desire to avoid taking responsibility for their actions.

In this article, I will guide you through each of these reasons so you can better understand why narcissists expect you to be able to read their minds.

1.) Their Sense of Entitlement

The first thing that causes narcissists to expect others to read their minds is their sense of entitlement.

A sense of entitlement means feeling that one inherently deserves certain privileges or special treatment just because of who they are. 

People with a strong sense of entitlement believe they have a right to more than others, even if there’s no real reason for that belief. 

Narcissists have a strong sense of entitlement. 

It is one of their core characteristics and often manifests as them demanding to be made a priority in the lives of others.

Something that often accompanies this demand is the expectation that others prioritize the narcissist’s thoughts, feelings, emotions, and needs over their own.

Because of this expectation, narcissists believe they don’t have to communicate their thoughts, feelings, emotions, or needs with others.

They believe that because they should be a priority, others should automatically know what they’re thinking, feeling, and want. 

2.) Their Lack of Self-Awareness

A lack of self-awareness is the second thing that causes narcissists to expect others to read their minds.

Self-awareness is the ability to focus on yourself and how your actions, thoughts, or emotions do or don’t align with your internal standards.

As mentioned in the previous section, narcissists have a strong sense of entitlement.

This drives them to believe others should automatically know what they’re thinking, how they’re feeling, and what they want. 

This is a big problem because their lack of self-awareness prevents them from seeing that this expectation isn’t achievable. 

Because of this, they go through life assuming their thoughts, feelings, and emotions, however messy or unclear to them, should be evident to those around them.

It’s like expecting others to understand a puzzle when they themselves don’t have all the pieces. They think others should intuitively “get” what is on their mind.

3.) Their Belief They Are Special and Unique

The third thing that causes narcissists to expect others to read their minds is their belief that they are special and unique.

This belief is a core characteristic of narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) and drives them to believe they shouldn’t need to explain themselves like “regular” people do.

Instead, they expect others to recognize and understand this uniqueness instinctively.

This, combined with their sense of entitlement and lack of self-awareness, causes them to truly believe their thoughts, feelings, emotions, and needs should resonate clearly without any communication.

4.) Their Manipulative Tendencies

The fourth thing that causes narcissists to expect others to read their minds is their manipulative tendencies.

Think of manipulation as a tactic where someone tries to sway others into doing what they want, often in subtle, indirect ways. 

As I’m sure you already know, narcissists are skilled at this.

Suggested Reading: How Do Narcissists Manipulate You?

They often use a blend of emotional cues and half-statements to control others.

This allows them to keep the people around them on their toes, making them constantly guess and second-guess their actions. 

Now, expecting someone to read your mind is, in itself, a manipulative strategy. 

If people are always trying to figure out what the narcissist wants or feels, they’re more likely to be compliant or to give the narcissist more attention. 

When others don’t instinctively act as the narcissist wishes, it’s an opportunity for the narcissist to play the victim or to point out how others are not considerate or attentive.

5.) Their Avoidance of Responsibility for Their Actions

The fifth thing that causes narcissists to expect others to read their minds is their tendency to avoid taking responsibility for their actions.

Narcissists have this tendency because taking responsibility for their actions, specifically the negative ones would damage their grandiose self-image. 

Narcissists can’t allow this to happen because their positive self-perception keeps them emotionally stable.

If you didn’t know already, narcissists have many painful thoughts, feelings, and emotions about themselves. 

Behind all of their “greatness” lies someone who struggles with feelings of being unlovable, unwanted, worthless, inadequate, and weak.

To manage these thoughts, feelings, and emotions, narcissists use narcissistic supply to suppress them so they can construct a positive self-image.

Suggested Reading: What Is Narcissistic Supply?

To maintain this self-image, narcissists must always have a consistent flow of validation, admiration, reassurance, power, and control (narcissistic supply).

Because of this, narcissists often expect others to “read between the lines” and understand the reasons behind their mistakes without them having to spell it out. 

They believe that those close to them should inherently understand and forgive any missteps without them having to acknowledge or apologize. 

This belief helps them maintain their positive self-image because it allows them to avoid taking responsibility for their actions.

What Should You Take Away from This Article?

Narcissists expect you to read their minds. This expectation is deeply rooted in their sense of entitlement, lack of self-awareness, belief they are special and unique, manipulative tendencies, and desire to avoid taking responsibility for their actions.