In this episode Lucianne Gerrard, a registered counsellor and narcissistic abuse specialist will answer the following seven questions from our Narcissistic Abuse Support Platform community:

  • I have a narcissistic mother that I love so much and I feel like I can’t let go of her. How did you work past the thoughts, feelings, and emotions that you had invested in your mother? How were you able to acknowledge that someone so important to you was abusive and no longer could have a significant role in your life?
  • I have been using the Gray Rock Method on my mom for 4 months now and I feel so guilty for doing it. How were you able to maintain the boundaries that you set with your narcissistic mother?
  • I know that I should go No Contact with my narcissistic parents, but my self-esteem is so low! The thought of cutting them out of my life makes me feel disgusted with myself and ashamed. How did you deal with low-self esteem when protecting yourself from narcissistic abuse?
  • I think the hardest thing for me is the Gaslighting. It makes everything so confusing. I don’t know if I am seeing things clearly or not. How did you spot the manipulative tactics that narcissists use?
  • How did you take back your power? I feel like my narcissistic parents have so much control over me and I don’t know what to do.
  • I feel like I am not ready to fully restrain myself from engaging in significant interactions with my narcissistic family, let alone go no contact. What were some smaller boundaries that you set with your narcissistic mother that helped you get to a place where you felt comfortable setting bigger boundaries?
  • How did you stop being afraid of the narcissist? I don’t mean afraid because they might physically hurt you. I mean afraid of being discarded, shut out from the family, shamed and humiliated publicly, and so on.

Raised by a strict, narcissistic mother, Lucianne Gerrard was trained to always put her mother first, then everyone else second, and never think about herself or her own needs (because that was selfish). 

With her foundation of personal experience of NA (narcissistic abuse) in relationships with both parents, sibling, partners, and friends, together with her years of studying the academic research on narcissism, she feels that she is well equipped to help people (of any age) heal from their narcissistic abuse, validate their feelings, support understanding of the narcissistic techniques that seem to be universal and help them build a happier, safer, narcissist-free future.

Podcast Music: Creative Commons Music by Jason Shaw on