We got a great question from the community: “Why do narcissists rush relationships?” I checked out some helpful sources. Here’s what I figured out.

Narcissists rush relationships to secure a consistent source of narcissistic supply, create a sense of dependency, avoid deep emotional intimacy, hide their toxic traits, and because they have a fear of being alone.

In this article, I will explain each of these reasons to help you understand why narcissists rush relationships.

1.) To Secure a Consistent Source of Narcissistic Supply

One reason narcissists rush relationships is to secure a consistent source of narcissistic supply, which refers to the validation, admiration, reassurance, power, and control they receive from others.1 

For example, imagine you’ve just started dating someone who seems incredibly charming and intensely interested in you. 

Within a few weeks, they declare their love, push for exclusivity, and even go as far as suggesting moving in together.

A narcissist trying to move in quickly.

This whirlwind romance might feel exhilarating at first, but it’s often a strategy for the narcissist to establish control and ensure that you’re deeply invested in the relationship. 

Why do they do this?

Well, the biggest, most reliable source of narcissistic supply narcissists have access to are typically the people they have relationships with.

So, by moving quickly, they aim to prevent you from seeing any red flags or questioning their motives, locking you into a dynamic where they receive a consistent flow of narcissistic supply.2

2.) To Create a Sense of Dependency

Another reason narcissists rush relationships is to create a sense of dependency. 

They often portray themselves as the perfect partner early on, making grand gestures and promises to sweep you off your feet. 

For example, they might shower you with gifts, compliments, and promises of a future together, making you feel like you’ve found your soulmate.3 

However, this is a tactic to make you emotionally dependent on them for happiness and validation. 

Once they sense you’re committed, they will begin to withdraw some of this affection, leaving you chasing after those initial feelings of love and approval. 

This dependency makes it harder for you to leave the relationship, even when you start noticing abusive behaviors because you’ve become emotionally invested in the image of them as your ideal partner.

3.) They Fear Being Alone

Behind the facade of superiority and self-assurance, many narcissists harbor a deep fear of being alone. 

This fear pushes them to quickly secure relationships to avoid any gap of solitude that might force them to confront their own vulnerabilities or feelings of inadequacy. 

For instance, you might notice that after a very brief acquaintance, a narcissistic partner starts talking about how they can’t imagine their life without you, insisting on spending every moment together. 

A narcissist love bombing someone.

This intensity is not just about securing you as a source of narcissistic supply but also about suppressing their underlying anxieties related to abandonment and loneliness. 

In other words, the rush to deepen the relationship quickly is a preemptive measure to fill their constant need for attention and validation and avoid the self-reflection that solitude often demands.

Related: Why Do Narcissists Jump from Relationship to Relationship?

4.) To Avoid Deep Emotional Intimacy

Narcissists often rush the early stages of a relationship to avoid the development of deep, genuine emotional intimacy because they find it threatening to their sense of control and self-image. 

By moving quickly, they aim to keep the relationship on a surface level, where they feel most comfortable and in control.4 

For example, they might bombard you with affection and grand romantic gestures right from the start, making you feel like the relationship is deeper and more significant than it actually is. 

They do this because it creates an illusion of intimacy without the narcissist having to truly open up or be vulnerable. 

When the relationship inevitably reaches a point where real emotional depth and vulnerability are required, the narcissist may pull away or sabotage the relationship, leaving you confused and hurt by the sudden shift in their behavior.5

Related:Why Do Narcissists Avoid Intimacy? (4 Reasons)

5.) To Hide Their Toxic Traits

A narcissist might rush a relationship to avoid scrutiny and the detection of their true nature.

By overwhelming you with affection, promises, and future plans, they try to distract you from noticing red flags or inconsistencies in their behavior.

For example, if a narcissist senses that you are someone who values honesty and integrity, they might claim to share these same values, showering you with stories that paint them in a heroic light. 

A narcissist trying to hide their toxic traits.

Or they might rush to make the relationship seem like a “fairy tale” romance, hoping that the whirlwind of emotions will prevent you from taking a closer look at actions that don’t align with their words. 

This tactic allows them to manipulate your emotions before you have a chance to see the discrepancies between who they claim to be and who they actually are, effectively sidelining your judgment and intuition.

For more helpful information like this, visit Unfilteredd’s Institute of Healing from Narcissistic Abuse today.

What Should You Take Away from This Article

Generally speaking, narcissists rush relationships for the following reasons:

  • To secure a consistent source of narcissistic supply.
  • To create a sense of dependency.
  • To avoid deep emotional intimacy.
  • To hide their toxic traits.
  • They have a fear of being alone.

Thank you so much for reading! If you have any questions about this article or romantic narcissistic relationships in general, please don’t hesitate to leave them in the comments below. I’d love to connect with you!

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About the Author

Hey, I’m Elijah.

I experienced narcissistic abuse for three years. 

I create these articles to help you understand and validate your experiences.

Thank you for reading, and remember, healing is possible even when it feels impossible.

Unfilteredd has strict sourcing guidelines and only uses high-quality sources to support the facts within our content. You can learn more about how we ensure our content is accurate, actionable, inclusive, and trustworthy by reading our editorial process.

  1. Darlene Lancer. (2021. August, 7). The Concept of Narcissistic Supply. Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/toxic-relationships/202108/the-concept-narcissistic-supply ↩︎
  2. Suzanne Degges-White. (2018. April, 13). Love Bombing: A Narcissist’s Secret Weapon. Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/lifetime-connections/201804/love-bombing-narcissists-secret-weapon ↩︎
  3. Katharine Chan. (2023. September, 26). How Narcissists Use Future Faking to Manipulate You Into a Relationship. Verywell Mind. https://www.verywellmind.com/how-to-spot-future-faking-in-narcissistic-relationships-7968853 ↩︎
  4. Theresa DiDonato. (2016. October, 30). When Narcissists Marry. Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/meet-catch-and-keep/201610/when-narcissists-marry ↩︎
  5. Cleveland Clinic. (2023. January, 31). What Is Love Bombing? Cleveland Clinic. https://health.clevelandclinic.org/love-bombing ↩︎

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