10 Ways That You Can Manipulate a Narcissist

For some, using tactics such as the Gray Rock Method, Yellow Rock Method, No Contact Method, or Low Contact Method isn’t an option.

Generally speaking, this is because the narcissist in their life has so much power and control over them that it is nearly impossible to protect themselves. 

When this happens, learning how to manipulate a narcissist can be an incredibly effective tactic that a person can use to keep themselves safe from the narcissist.

The best way to manipulate a narcissist is to turn yourself into a reliable source of narcissistic supply so that the narcissist values your support more than the gratification they get from abusing you.

If you didn’t know already, narcissistic supply is the validation, admiration, reassurance, power, and control that narcissists extract from others. 

They use supply to suppress all of their painful thoughts, feelings, and emotions so that they can maintain a positive self-perception. 

It is for this reason that turning yourself into a reliable source of narcissistic supply is by far the best way to manipulate a narcissist.

Here are 10 ways that you can manipulate a narcissist by turning yourself into a reliable source of narcissistic supply: 

1. Praise their achievements or accomplishments.
2. Agree with their opinions.
3. Admire their physical appearance, intelligence, or other traits.
4. Respond to their requests or demands immediately and without question.
5. Ask for their advice or opinion.
6. Support the choices and decisions that they make.
7. Allow them to dominate conversations and make all the decisions.
8. Acknowledge their power and status. 
9. Agree with their criticism of others.
10. Give them constant attention and admiration.

1. Praise Their Achievements or Accomplishments

The first thing that you could do to manipulate the narcissist in your life is praising their achievements or accomplishments.

This tactic is incredibly effective because it gives the narcissist the validation that they desperately need.

Remember, validation is one of the core elements of narcissistic supply.

Here’s a brief example of someone praising a narcissist’s accomplishments:

Narcissist: “I just got promoted to manager at work. I was obviously the best candidate for the job.”

Person: “Wow, congratulations on your promotion! You’ve worked hard and it’s great to see your dedication paying off.”

2. Agree With Their Opinions

The second thing that you could do to manipulate the narcissist in your life is agree with their opinions.

When you agree with the opinions that narcissists have, you help reinforce their belief that they are always right and superior to others.

As you can imagine, this provides them with a tremendous amount of narcissistic supply.

Narcissist: “I’m the best , nobody can match my skills.”

The fourth thing that you could do to manipulate the narcissist in your life is respond to their requests or demands immediately and without question.

This tactic is effective because responding to their requests and demands immediately and without question, gives them a sense of power and control over you.

Remember, power and control are two huge elements of narcissistic supply.

Here’s a simple example of someone doing this:

Narcissist: “I need you to come over right now.”

Person: “Sure!”

Narcissist: “Perfect, you’re always so reliable. I knew I could count on you.”

Person: “I’m happy to help. I enjoy spending time with you.”

5. Ask For Their Advice or Opinion

The fifth thing that you could do to manipulate the narcissist in your life is asking for their advice or opinion.

You see, asking a narcissist for their advice or opinion reinforces their belief that they are knowledgeable and superior to others.

As you can imagine, this provides them with a truckload of supply, makes them feel important, and shows that you value them.

Here’s an example of this:

Person: “I could really use your opinion on this company that I am considering working for.”

Narcissist: “What company are you thinking of working for?”

Person: “It’s a marketing position at a startup company called (random name).”

Narcissist: “Hmm, interesting. Three years ago I was offered a marketing job at one of the best marketing companies in the world but turned it down. Here’s what you should do…”

6. Support the Choices and Decisions That They Make

The sixth thing that you could do to manipulate the narcissist in your life is support the choices and decisions that they make.

This will likely give them a sense of validation and make them feel important.

Here is a helpful example of a person doing this to a narcissist:

Narcissist: “I am going to start a business. None of the companies that I’ve worked at have acknowledged how great I am. I am tired of working for people who I am smarter than.”

Person: “I know that you will be an amazing business owner. I mean, how couldn’t you? I have always admired how intelligent you are. I wish I was more like you.”

7. Allow Them to Dominate Conversations and Make All the Decisions

The seventh thing that you could do to manipulate the narcissist in your life is allowing them to dominate the conversation or make all the decisions.

Doing this is going to make them feel like they have a tremendous amount of power and control, which are two huge components of narcissistic supply.

Here’s an example of someone doing this:

Narcissist: “We should plan to have the party for next weekend at my place. I have the best space for entertaining and I know exactly how to throw a great party. I will handle everything. Just show up and have a great time.”

Person: “Okay. Just tell me when to be there and I will be there.”

8. Acknowledge Their Power and Status 

The eighth thing that you could do to manipulate the narcissist in your life is acknowledging them of their power or status.

Now, do they really have power or status? Maybe. But the point of doing this is reassuring their fragile egos of their power and status.

This will provide them with a tremendous amount of narcissistic supply.

Here’s an example of this happening:

Narcissist: “I just closed a huge deal. I am the best negotiator on the planet.”

You: “Wow, that is super impressive. You have such a talent for closing deals.”

Narcissist: “Pshh. I’ve always been good at it.”

You: “Yes, I can see that. You have a real knack for understanding people’s needs and finding common ground.”

9. Agree With Their Criticism of Others

The ninth thing that you could do to manipulate the narcissist in your life is to agree with their criticism of others.

This is a really simple way of providing narcissists with the validation that they desperately need.

Here’s an example of this tactic being used:

Narcissist: “Did you notice how rude John was being to the waitress? He was being so rude and disrespectful. It’s unbelievable how some people can act like that.”

Agreeing person: “Yeah you’re right. He was being so rude!”

10. Give Them Constant Attention and Admiration

The tenth thing that you could do to manipulate the narcissist in your life is give them constant attention and admiration.

This is really the easiest way to manipulate a narcissist with supply.

As you probably already know, narcissists will go great lengths to get narcissistic supply.

By giving them constant attention and admiration, you are providing them with the supply instead of making them go out searching for it.

Here’s an example of someone doing this:

Narcissist: “I can’t f*cking believe that I got passed over for that promotion. Everyone knows that I was supposed to get that promotion.”

You: “Are you serious? You didn’t get it? You are incredibly talented. They should appreciate you way more than they do. In fact, you should be the one running the company.”

What Should You Take Away From This Article?

If you are going to try to manipulate the narcissist in your life by turning yourself into a reliable source of narcissistic supply, it is important that you don’t put yourself down in the process.

Doing this will only add onto the negativity that the narcissist in your life projects onto you and could severely damage your self-perception.

In addition to this, narcissists need admiration to come from a “worthy” audience. 

Meaning that from a narcissist’s perspective, supply needs to come from someone who they believe to be important, but not more important than themselves.

If you were to just devalue yourself to give them admiration, they would view you as an “unworthy” audience.

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References

Green, Ava, and Kathy Charles. “Voicing the victims of narcissistic partners: A qualitative analysis of responses to narcissistic injury and Self-Esteem regulation.” Sage open 9.2 (2019): 2158244019846693.