When interacting with a narcissist, you may notice that they often avoid answering your questions, leaving you frustrated and confused.
This behavior isn’t accidental; it’s a deliberate tactic they use for several reasons, including:
- They believe answering is beneath them.
- They don’t care about your feelings.
- They want to avoid taking responsibility.
- They crave attention.
- They’re trying to manipulate you.
- They fear being vulnerable.
- They want to maintain power and control.
In this article, I’ll break down each of these reasons to help you understand why narcissists behave this way and how it serves their needs.
1.) They Believe Answering Is Beneath Them
Narcissists often believe they are better than others, which leads them to view other people’s questions as unworthy of their time.1
To them, answering these questions feels beneath their status, almost like it’s a waste of effort.
Because they see themselves as more important, they don’t feel obligated to respond to those they consider “lesser.”
This inflated sense of superiority drives them to ignore questions, as they feel they shouldn’t have to explain themselves to anyone.
2.) They Don’t Care About Your Feelings
Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another, but narcissists lack this quality.2
They are primarily focused on their needs and desires, so they don’t consider how ignoring your questions might affect you.
When they don’t answer, it probably isn’t because they don’t hear you but because they don’t see any benefit in responding.
Their disconnect from others’ emotions makes it easy for them to disregard your questions without feeling guilt or concern.
3.) They Want to Avoid Taking Responsibility
Accountability means taking responsibility for your actions.
Narcissists avoid doing this at all costs.3
Admitting fault threatens their “perfect” image of themselves, so they dodge questions that might expose their mistakes.
By not answering, they can sidestep blame and maintain the illusion of always being right.
This helps them protect their carefully crafted image, allowing them to avoid any responsibility that might tarnish their grandiose self-image.
Suggested Reading: 8 Things That Happen When You Confront a Narcissist
4.) They Crave Attention
Narcissists crave attention because it makes them feel important and validated.4
When they don’t answer your questions, it can be a deliberate tactic to draw even more attention to themselves.
How?
By remaining silent or giving vague responses, they keep you guessing and focused on them, which forces you to work harder to engage with them.
This behavior centers the conversation around their needs, ensuring they stay in the spotlight and get all the attention they desire.
Suggested Reading: 18 Signs That a Narcissist Wants Your Attention
5.) They’re Trying to Manipulate You
Manipulation means pressuring others, sometimes in sneaky ways, to get what you want.
Narcissists often use manipulation when they don’t answer questions.5
By deliberately withholding answers, they create confusion or frustration, leaving you feeling uncertain or doubtful.
This tactic allows them to control the interaction, steering the conversation in their favor without having to be direct or honest.
By manipulating the situation this way, they control the narrative and ensure things go their way.
6.) They Fear Being Vulnerable
Vulnerability is the willingness to take a risk by showing emotions and providing honest expression, even when it’sdifficult.
Narcissists fear vulnerability because they have many painful thoughts, feelings, and emotions hidden behind their grandiose self-image.6
When questions have the potential to pierce through the “perfect” image they present to the world, they avoid answering.
By dodging these questions, they protect themselves from exposing the deep-seated insecurities they try so hard to conceal.
This avoidance keeps their vulnerabilities hidden, allowing them to maintain their carefully crafted facade.
7.) They Want to Maintain Power and Control
Building off the previous section about vulnerability, narcissists avoid answering questions to maintain power and control over their interactions.
Maintaining power and control provides them with a strong form of reassurance because it allows them to ensure that their surrounding environment isn’t a threat to their grandiose self-image.7
By controlling conversations and refusing to answer questions that could challenge or expose them, they reinforce their dominance and protect themselves from anything that could undermine their carefully constructed facade.
This approach to maintaining power and control helps them keep any potential vulnerabilities hidden, ensuring their image remains unchallenged.
Suggested Reading: What Do Narcissists Want? (5 Things)
Conclusion
Understanding why narcissists avoid answering your questions can help you navigate interactions with them more effectively.
These behaviors—rooted in a need for superiority, control, and self-protection—are deliberate tactics they use to maintain their carefully constructed image and avoid any perceived threats to their ego.
By recognizing these patterns, you can better manage your expectations and protect yourself from being manipulated or frustrated by their refusal to engage openly.
While it may be challenging, maintaining your boundaries and seeking clarity elsewhere can help you deal with the narcissist in your life on your terms.
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About the Author
Hey, I’m Elijah.
I experienced narcissistic abuse for several years and was shocked by just how common it is. I create these articles to spread awareness.
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