3 Reasons That Narcissists Get Worse as They Get Older

There are many people who have a narcissist in their life who they can’t, or won’t, distance themselves from. A common question that they often end up asking is, “Do narcissists get worse as they get older?”

Narcissists do get worse as they get older. With age comes a lack of independence and narcissistic supply. So, aging narcissists tend to become the extreme versions of their worst selves. They don’t develop a late-onset self-awareness, they just become more abusive, manipulative, hypersensitive, rageful, and entitled. 

This article is going to walk you through the different reasons that narcissists get worse with age so you can have a better understanding of narcissism that helps you make conscious and well-informed decisions to protect yourself from further harm.

They Lose Their Ability to Get a Sufficient Amount of Narcissistic Supply

The reason that narcissists lose their ability to get a sufficient amount of narcissistic supply as they get older is because of the way that they’ve built their identity.

You see, an emotionally competent individual will typically build their identity out of their own feelings of belonging, competence, and self-confidence.

Unfortunately, narcissists are not emotionally competent. In fact, they have extremely low emotional intelligence.

Because of this, they build their identity out of narcissistic supply.

If you didn’t know already, narcissistic supply is the validation, admiration, and reassurance that narcissists receive from their external environment.

This supply is almost always made up of the most superficial, materialistic, and trivial aspects of life such as having a lot of money, driving a fast car, owning a big house, having a lot of social media followers, and so on.

Unfortunately, as a narcissist gets older, they lose their ability to accumulate narcissistic supply.

Why?

Well, people get older, we see decreases in out authority, responsibility, attractiveness, mobility, memory capacity, and sex drive.

This has a massive impact on a narcissist’s ability to gather a sufficient amount of narcissistic supply.

One of the most important things that narcissistic supply does for a narcissist is acts as their primary form of emotional regulation.

This has a lot to do with their childhood upbringing.

You see, it is believed that narcissism originates from an abusive abusive and/or unhealthy childhood upbringing.

This upbringing prevented them from getting their thoughts, feelings, emotions, and needs mirrored by their primary caregivers.

When a child grows up with emotionally unavailable, unresponsive, and inconsistent primary caregivers, they don’t receive the validation, admiration, and reassurance needed to develop a realistic sense of self and have a healthy cognitive development. 

One of the many negatives that originate from growing up in an environment like this is an overwhelming amount of painful thoughts, feelings, and emotions.

Unfortunately, because of their upbringing, narcissists were left far too emotionally immature to manage these painful thoughts, feelings, and emotions through healthy forms of emotional regulation.

Just to be clear, these are powerful thoughts, feelings, and emotions that we are talking about.

Deep down, narcissists feel inadequate, unlovable, unwanted, weak, and worthless.

To protect themselves from their painful thoughts, feelings, and emotions, narcissists use narcissistic supply to suppress them.

When they start running out of supply, their painful thoughts, feelings, and emotions get triggered and compromise their emotional stability.

It is for this reason that narcissists tend to get worse as they get older.

The older they get, the less narcissistic supply they can get.

The less narcissistic supply they get, the more vulnerable they are to their painful thoughts, feelings, and emotions.

Aging Narcissists Become Increasingly Fragile and Vulnerable

Just as a quick reminder, as narcissists get older, their ability to accumulate a sufficient amount of narcissistic supply worsens. When this happens, all of their painful thoughts, feelings, and emotions get triggered and compromise their emotional stability. This puts the aging narcissist in an incredibly fragile and vulnerable position. 

When a narcissist experiences a narcissistic injury, their grandiose sense of self-importance, specialness, and uniqueness gets dismantled and replaced with all of their painful thoughts, feelings, and emotions. 

Remember, these are powerful ones such as a sense of inadequacy, being unlovable, unwanted, worthless, and weak. This would be a terrible position for anyone to be in, but it is even worse for narcissists because they are too emotionally incompetent to manage the situation through healthy forms of emotional regulation. 

This causes narcissists to become increasingly aggressive, angry, resentful, spiteful, and even depressed. When dealing with an “injured” narcissist, you should be prepared for manipulative behaviors such as narcissistic rage, baiting, stonewalling, etc. This can make an aging narcissist an absolute nightmare to be around as they will be the extreme versions of their worst selves.

What Should You Take Away From This Article?

An aging narcissist can be an absolute nightmare to manage.

It is almost as if they (the narcissist) experience an out of body experience as they age because they are forced to watch as their tower of power, control, dominance, grandiosity, and lies comes crashing down around them.

But when the dust settles, all that is left is a fragile, insecure, terrified, and terribly alone human-being that they refuse to accept.

With that being said, it is super important that you don’t underestimate an aging narcissist by letting your guard down around them.

Despite their age, they are more than capable of controlling your thoughts, feelings, emotions, needs, wishes, goals, and aspirations. 

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Disclaimer

This information is for educational purposes only and is not intended to be a substitute for clinical care. Please consult a health care provider for guidance specific to your case.

References:

Jauk, Emanuel et al. “The Relationship between Grandiose and Vulnerable (Hypersensitive) Narcissism.” Frontiers in psychology vol. 8 1600. 13 Sep. 2017, doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2017.01600

Ageism is a global challenge: UN