A question people often have after seeing the narcissist jump from new relationship to new relationship is, “Why do they look so happy with the new supply?”

Five reasons narcissists look happy with the new supply are they are love bombing the new supply, getting a massive boost of narcissistic supply, trying to maintain a positive public image, trying to regain a sense of control, or trying to make their old supply jealous.

In this article, I will explain these five reasons so you can better understand why narcissists look happy with their new supply.

1.) They Are Love Bombing the New Supply

Narcissists often engage in a cycle of idealization, devaluation, and discard in their relationships, also known as the narcissistic abuse cycle.

In the initial phase, the narcissist will idealize the new supply, showering them with affection, attention, and compliments.

This is commonly referred to as love bombing.

Suggested Reading: 11 Things Narcissists Do During the Love Bombing Phase

The narcissist appears incredibly happy during this phase because they receive a lot of narcissistic supply – admiration, validation, and attention – from the new supply.

For example, imagine a narcissist who has just started a new relationship.

They may post numerous pictures on social media with their new partner, showcasing dates, gifts, and affectionate moments.

A narcissist love bombing someone.

This could easily be interpreted as the narcissist being extremely happy with the new supply to an outsider or even to the old supply.

However, this is nothing more than love bombing and the idealization phase.

A combination narcissists use to gain admiration and validation from others and to manipulate the new partner into becoming emotionally dependent on them.

2.) The New Supply is Providing Narcissistic Supply

The term “narcissistic supply” refers to the validation, admiration, reassurance, power, and control narcissists constantly seek from others.

Suggested Reading: What Is Narcissistic Supply? (A Complete Guide)

A new supply, whether a new partner, friend, or family member, can boost this narcissistic supply, making the narcissist appear very happy and satisfied. 

The new supply is often unaware of the narcissist’s manipulative tendencies and is, therefore, more likely to provide the attention that the narcissist desires.

For example, imagine a narcissistic parent has a falling out with one of their adult children, who has started to set boundaries and confront them about their behavior. 

The narcissistic parent may then turn their attention to another child or family member who is not as confrontational and showers them with affection and praise. 

To outsiders, it may seem like the narcissistic parent is genuinely happy and content with this other family member, posting pictures together and publicly praising them. 

However, this shift in attention is because the new supply (the other child or family member) unknowingly provides the narcissistic supply that the narcissist craves.

3.) They Want to Maintain a Positive Public Persona

Narcissists are often very concerned with how others perceive them. 

They want to be seen as desirable, successful, and happy. 

A narcissist trying to maintain a positive public persona.

After the end of a relationship, they need to maintain this image because admitting to sadness, rejection, or failure is not aligned with their grandiose self-image. 

By appearing happy with a new supply, they can project an image of resilience, desirability, and success to the outside world.

For example, think about a scenario where a narcissist’s relationship ends, and gossip about the reasons for the breakup is circulating in their social circle. 

The narcissist may quickly enter a new relationship and publicly display their happiness, posting pictures and telling friends how wonderful their new partner is. 

This helps to create a narrative that the narcissist is not affected by the breakup and is doing better than ever. 

This public display is not necessarily a reflection of their true feelings but rather a carefully crafted persona designed to maintain a positive public image.

Suggested Reading: How Do Narcissists Act in Public?

4.) They’re Trying to Regain a Sense of Control

A narcissist’s sense of self-worth heavily depends on the control they exert over their relationships and environment. 

When this control is threatened, such as a relationship ending or someone setting boundaries with them, it creates anxiety and a sense of instability for the narcissist. 

To counteract this, they frequently try to form or reinforce another relationship (new supply) where they feel in control as quickly as possible.

Being in control again, receiving admiration, and not being challenged makes the narcissist feel more secure and, consequently, happier. 

This perceived happiness is not about the new supply but rather the narcissist regaining control over their environment and self-worth.

For example, I want you to picture a narcissistic father who has been the family’s decision-maker for as long as anyone can remember.

A family having dinner.

This father starts feeling threatened when one of his adult children (the golden child) begins to challenge his decisions and set boundaries. 

Feeling a loss of control, the father may focus on another family member who does not challenge him, perhaps a younger child or a sibling. 

The father regains a sense of control by asserting his control over this person, making decisions for them, and receiving admiration in return.

Because of this, they appear happier and more content. 

To outsiders, the father is genuinely happy and fulfilled in this relationship.

But in reality, his happiness is mainly derived from regaining control over his environment and self-worth.

Suggested Reading: 3 Reasons Narcissists Are So Controlling

5.) They Are Trying to Make You Jealous

Narcissists want to maintain power and control in their relationships, and this want doesn’t stop after a relationship ends. 

They use a variety of tactics to remain in power and control, one of which is making their old supply jealous. 

By appearing extremely happy and satisfied with the new supply, the narcissist indirectly communicates that they are replaceable and unimportant to their old supply. 

This can evoke feelings of jealousy, inadequacy, and longing for the old supply, which the narcissist finds gratifying as it reinforces their sense of importance and control.

For example, a narcissist and their partner have recently broken up. 

The narcissist quickly enters a new relationship and posts many pictures of themselves and their new supply, smiling, holding hands, and looking happy. 

A narcissist looking happy.

They might even send a message to their old supply saying how happy they are and how they’ve finally found someone who truly understands them. 

This can make the old supply feel jealous and inadequate, wondering why they weren’t enough to make the narcissist happy, while this new person seemingly is. 

In reality, the narcissist is not necessarily happier with the new person; they are just manipulating their old supply’s emotions and feel a sense of power and control.

What Should You Take Away from This Article?

A narcissist’s “happiness” with the new supply isn’t real. I know seeing them “happy” with someone else can hurt, but please find ways to remind yourself that it is all a lie.

About the Author

Hey, I’m Elijah.

I experienced narcissistic abuse for three years. 

I create these articles to help you understand and validate your experiences.

Thank you for reading, and remember, healing is possible even when it feels impossible.

If you’re ready to heal, visit The Institute of Healing from Narcissistic Abuse to get started.


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