One of our community members asked, “Do narcissists say the same things? I have been in three narcissistic relationships, and I feel like they all say the same things.”

To find out, we sent out a survey to our community that asked, “What are some common phrases or sayings that the narcissist in your life uses?”

This survey was sent to just over three thousand people, and we have narrowed their responses down to thirty!

In this article, I will guide you through these thirty responses to help you better understand the favorite sayings of a narcissist that our community reported.

30 Phrases Narcissists Say Most Often 

1.) “I’m not the problem, you are.” – Narcissists often refuse to accept responsibility for their actions, frequently blaming others instead.

2.) “You’re just too sensitive.” – This is a form of gaslighting, a manipulative tactic where the narcissist tries to make others question their own feelings or perceptions.

Suggested Reading: 100 of the Most Common Gaslighting Phrases

3.) “I don’t need anyone.” – Despite often craving attention and admiration, narcissists might insist they’re entirely self-sufficient to appear more in control or superior.

4.) “No one understands me like you do.” – While seemingly flattering, such sayings can be a part of the ‘love bombing’ phase, when narcissists shower their targets with attention and praise, only to manipulate them later on.

5.) “You should feel lucky to be with me.” – Narcissists may attempt to make others feel inferior or undeserving of their attention to maintain control in the relationship.

6.) “It’s just a joke. Can’t you take a joke?” – Narcissists may use humor or sarcasm to belittle others, then dismiss any hurt feelings as overreaction.

A narcissist minimizing someone's feelings.

7.) “You owe me for all I’ve done for you.” – Narcissists often keep a tally of every little favor, using them as leverage to guilt others into complying with their demands.

8.) “Don’t you know who I am?” – A reflection of their inflated self-importance, narcissists may assume that everyone should recognize their importance.

9.) “If you loved me, you would…” – Narcissists often use emotional blackmail to manipulate others into doing what they want.

10.) “Why can’t you be more like…?” – By comparing others to someone else, narcissists can make others feel inferior and question their worth.

11.) “You’ll never find someone like me.” – Used to maintain control in a relationship, narcissists may try to make their partners feel that they are irreplaceable.

Suggested Reading: 8 Powerful Tactics That Narcissists Use to Control You

12.) “You’re just overreacting.” – This is another form of gaslighting where the narcissist tries to invalidate the feelings of others.

13.) “You’re making a big deal out of nothing.” – This can be a form of gaslighting, where a narcissist tries to minimize another person’s valid feelings or concerns.

14.) “You’re being too emotional.” – Another phrase used to dismiss or invalidate someone else’s feelings or reactions.

15.) “You need me.” – A way to create a sense of dependency and reinforce their importance.

16.) “I did that for your own good.” – A common way for narcissists to justify their manipulative or controlling behavior.

17.) “I’m just telling it like it is.” – Narcissists often use this phrase to excuse their rudeness or lack of empathy.

18.) “You wouldn’t understand.” – Narcissists often perceive themselves as uniquely intelligent or enlightened, implying others cannot comprehend their thoughts or actions.

19.) “I can’t believe you don’t trust me.” – This phrase may be used to guilt-trip the other person, even when distrust has been earned through the narcissist’s behavior.

20.) “I’m only saying this for your own good.” – Another way to justify their critical or hurtful remarks.

21.) “You couldn’t handle it without me.” – Narcissists reinforce their importance and dominance by implying that others are helpless without their guidance or input.

22.) “I deserve better than this.” – This phrase can reveal a narcissist’s sense of entitlement and lack of empathy for others.

23.) “You’re imagining things.” – A typical gaslighting technique narcissists use to make others question their reality or sanity.

24.) “It’s always about you, isn’t it?” – A projection tactic narcissists use to shift focus away from their own self-centered behavior.

Suggested Reading: 10 Tactics Narcissists Use to Make You Feel Guilty

25.) “I can’t help it if people are jealous of me.” – Narcissists may assume that others envy them to bolster their self-esteem.

A narcissist saying something manipulative and grandiose.

26.) “You’re the only person who gets me.” – While it might seem romantic, narcissists can use such phrases to isolate their partners and deepen their dependency.

27.) “I’ve done everything for you.” – By overemphasizing their own efforts, narcissists often try to manipulate others into feeling indebted to them.

28.) “You always disappoint me.” – Narcissists might belittle others to make them feel inadequate and gain power in the relationship.

29.) “You can’t live without me.” – This phrase reveals a narcissist’s need to feel indispensable in others’ lives.

30.) “I’m not controlling. I just know what’s best.” – A manipulative phrase that narcissists use to justify their controlling behavior by suggesting it’s for the other person’s good.

31.) “That didn’t happen.” – This phrase is often used by narcissists to gaslight their targets, making them question their own memory and perception of events.

32.) “If mama/papa ain’t happy, nobody’s going to be happy.” – This saying can be leveraged by narcissists to justify their self-centered behavior, implying that their happiness should be everyone’s priority.

33.) “You try so hard to be like [name of someone], but you’re not.” – This kind of comparison is a classic narcissistic tactic to undermine someone’s self-esteem and create a sense of inadequacy.

What Should You Take Away from This Article?

I hope you enjoyed this article. 

Before you go, I want to ensure you know that narcissists do not exclusively use these phrases, meaning that using them doesn’t mean a person is a narcissist.

I wanted to say this because there is a chance that you have said some of the phrases we’ve listed.

For example, you might have said, “I can’t believe you don’t trust me,” or “I deserve better than this.” 

Saying things like this does not mean you are a narcissist! 

Thanking for reading this article, have a great rest of your day!

About the Author

Hey, I’m Elijah.

I experienced narcissistic abuse for three years. 

I create these articles to help you understand and validate your experiences.

Thank you for reading, and remember, healing is possible even when it feels impossible.

If you’re ready to heal, visit The Institute of Healing from Narcissistic Abuse to get started.
Share this post to help others trust their experiences.

References:

About This Article

We used Artificial Intelligence (AI) to create parts of this article to enhance its accuracy and readability. It underwent a strict human editorial process before being published. See additional information.

2 Comments

  1. Thank you Elijah, what a great article. I’ve heard many of those saying from narcissistic family members all my life. To add to the list, I’ve also routinely heard: “That didn’t happen,” “If mama’s ain’t happy, nobody’s going to be happy,” and “You try so hard to be like your mother and sister, but your not.” How crippling it was to hearing such hurtful words from those who supposedly love you. Overcoming the damage to my self-esteem has remained a challenge; nevertheless, because of article like yours, to help spread awareness of narcissistic abuse, I’m well on my way to healing.
    Melissa

    1. Hi Melissa,

      Thank you so much for leaving a comment and giving me these additional sayings to add to the list.

      I’ve added them!

      I wish you the best on your healing journey.

      I think you’ll find this article helpful:

      10 Ways to Build Self-Esteem After Narcissistic Abuse

      We send our newsletter free healing content daily.

      So, if you ever need more support, join us!

      There are many free courses, journaling prompts, and live events waiting for you.

      All the best,

      Elijah

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