If you have flying monkeys in your life, you may wonder, “Will they ever see the truth about the narcissist?”

In some cases, flying monkeys do discover the truth about the narcissist. Some common reasons this happens are:

  • They get emotionally burned out by the narcissist’s actions.
  • They spot the inconsistencies in the narcissist’s stories.
  • They realize the narcissist is just using them.
  • They get exposed to healthier relationships.
  • They find themselves on the receiving end of the narcissist’s abuse.

In this article, I will guide you through these reasons to help you better understand the circumstances that lead some flying monkeys toward the truth about the narcissist.

1.) The Narcissist’s Actions Burns Them Out Emotionally

When a person, such as a flying monkey, serves the wants and needs of a narcissist, they’re often placed in emotionally demanding situations.  

For example, they could be:

  • Involved in the narcissist’s dramas.
  • Asked to defend the narcissist’s actions.
  • Be expected to be a source of constant validation and support. 

Over time, this emotional exertion, which usually goes without fair compensation, can leave the flying monkey feeling drained.

A flying monkey feeling exhausted.

When this happens, some flying monkeys can pick up on the emotional fatigue they experience after interacting with the narcissist and, as a result, discover the truth about them.

2.) They Spot the Inconsistencies in the Narcissist’s Stories

If you didn’t know already, narcissists tend to bend reality to fit their narratives through a manipulation tactic called gaslighting.

When they do this, it is like the narcissist is trying to piece together a puzzle, but occasionally, they create or leave out pieces (i.e., information) to make the puzzle look exactly how they want it to.

Now, in the context of a flying monkey discovering the truth about a narcissist, please think of the flying monkey as someone trying to help them with this puzzle. 

Initially, the flying monkey will typically accept the puzzle pieces given to them, trusting the narcissist’s account of events.

A flying monkey blindly trusting a narcissist.

However, as they get more and more involved with the narcissist, some flying monkeys begin to realize that certain pieces of their carefully crafted puzzle don’t fit or are missing entirely. 

This can break the trust between the flying monkey and the narcissist, causing them to question the narcissist and, eventually, push them towards seeing the truth.

Suggested Reading: How to Tell If a Narcissist Is Lying to You (7 Signs)

3.) They Realize They Are Just a Pawn to the Narcissist

Within the dynamics of a relationship with a narcissist, the balance of give-and-take almost always leans heavily in the narcissist’s favor. 

Because of this, flying monkeys are typically used to address the narcissist’s needs, be it emotional support, validation, or actions that further the narcissist’s agendas. 

Over time, it is common for some flying monkeys to realize that the narcissist only acknowledges their existence when they need something.

Suggested Reading: How Do Narcissists Use Flying Monkeys? (10 Ways)

This realization can be profoundly unsettling and create feelings of resentment, undervaluation, and doubt within the flying monkey.

As a result, the flying monkey may begin to look more closely at their relationship with the narcissist, asking questions like:

  • “Why am I only acknowledged when I’m needed?”
  • “Is my value in this relationship only based on what I can provide?”
A flying monkey questioning the reason he is a flying monkey.

In some cases, acknowledging these feelings and asking these questions can help the flying monkey discover the truth about the narcissist.

4.) They Get Exposed to Healthier Relationships

Sometimes, when a flying monkey experiences or witnesses a healthy relationship, it can make them question the norms they’ve become accustomed to in their relationship with the narcissist. 

For example, they might wonder why their interactions with the narcissist are filled with tension, demands, or constant appeasement while other relationships function on understanding and compromise.

This exposure provides a frame of reference, highlighting the gaps and imbalances in their relationship with the narcissist. 

As a result, some flying monkeys begin to desire these healthier dynamics over the toxic ones they get with the narcissist.

A narcissist wanting to go cause some trouble.

This desire can be a pivotal moment in recognizing and acknowledging the toxicity they’ve been entangled in, leading them toward the truth about the narcissist.

5.) They Find Themselves on the Receiving End of the Narcissist’s Abuse

In the beginning, flying monkeys support the narcissist, often without facing the narcissist’s negative behaviors directly. 

However, sometimes situations arise where the flying monkey doesn’t meet the narcissist’s demands or expectations.

When this happens, the narcissist might target the flying monkey with the same abusive and manipulative tactics they use on others.

Suggested Reading: 9 Reasons Narcissists Turn On Their Flying Monkeys

Experiencing this switch is startling for the flying monkey because, suddenly, they’re not the ally but the target. 

This direct exposure to the narcissist’s harmful behaviors gives them a firsthand understanding of what others might have faced. 

It’s one thing to hear or see someone else being mistreated, but feeling that mistreatment personally carries a deeper impact.

This moment of realization can be a significant turning point, leading the flying monkey toward uncovering the truth about the narcissist.

What Should You Take Away from This Article?

Sometimes, flying monkeys do end up seeing the truth about the narcissist. Five common reasons this happens include

  • Getting emotionally burned out by the narcissist’s actions.
  • Spotting the inconsistencies in the narcissist’s stories.
  • Realizing the narcissist is just using them.
  • Getting exposed to healthier relationships.
  • Finding themselves on the receiving end of the narcissist’s abuse.

About the Author

Hey, I’m Elijah.

I experienced narcissistic abuse for three years. 

I create these articles to help you understand and validate your experiences.

Thank you for reading, and remember, healing is possible even when it feels impossible.

If you’re ready to heal, visit The Institute of Healing from Narcissistic Abuse to get started.


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