Narcissists can be some of the most dangerous people on the planet.

In public, they are often charming, charismatic, articulate, and relatively pleasant.

But behind closed doors, they are unpredictable, lack empathy, exploitative, full of rage, dangerous, and sometimes, life threatening.  

To keep you as safe as possible, this article is going to guide you through 16 different signs that the narcissist in your life could potentially kill you.

16 Signs That the Abuser in Your Life Is Capable of Homicide

1. Has Your Abuser Ever Choked, Strangled, or Suffocated You With either His/Her Hands or an Object?

The chances of homicide increase by 750% for people who’ve been choked, strangled, or suffocated by their abuser versus those who haven’t. 

2. Does the Abuser in Your Life Express Ownership Over You?(“You can never leave me;” “Death before divorce;” “If I can’t have you, nobody can.”)

The risk of the violence escalating to serious injury or homicide is significantly higher when your abuser makes statements that imply he/she owns you.

3. Has the Abuser in Your Life Threatened or Expressed Dreams, Fantasies, or Ideas About Killing You, the Children, Your Relatives, and/or Himself/Herself? 

Threatening to kill you, your children, relatives and/or expressing such ideas is one of the strongest risk factors commonly linked to homicide. 

4. Does Your Abuser Have a History of Domestic Violence? 

A history of Domestic Violence is the second most common risk factor found to be present in Domestic Homicides. Research studies indicate that those who are severely verbally abusive are very likely to become physically violent against their partners.

Understanding the dynamics of domestic violence and developing coping strategies is vital for healing from abuse.

5. Is the Abuser in Your Life Dependent on You? Put You Above Everyone Else? Isolate You From Friends, Family, and/or the Community?

Experts say that when an abuser exhibits these behaviors, the violence often escalates after the abused woman leaves the relationship. This is the third most common risk factor (62%).

6. Has There Ever Been Any Weapons (firearms, knives, bats etc.) Involved in Domestic Violence? 

Weapons are present in 40% of death review cases. 

7. Is Your Abuser Depressed or Not Seeing the Value of His/Her Own Life? 

Depression is a common precursor to murder-suicide and is something that should be taken seriously when considering your own safety. 

8. Has There Been Violence When You Left the Relationship and/or Violence When You Tried to End the Relationship? 

Domestic violence circulates around your abuser’s need for power & control. If they were to feel that they were losing power & control, you could be at a greater risk of deadly violence. 

During these challenging times, having a supportive community can make all the difference.

9. Has Your Abuser Stalked You, Held You Hostage, or Taken You Against Your Will?

 The risk of violence and/or homicide rises.

10. Does the Abuser in Your Life Frequently Use Drugs and/or Alcohol? 

Drug and/or alcohol use is present in 42% of Domestic Homicides. 

11. Have You Ever Experienced Physical Abuse During a Pregnancy? 

Pregnancy increases the risk of serious assault or homicide. In fact, domestic violence often escalates from verbal/emotional abuse to physical abuse during pregnancy. 

12. Have You Noticed an Increase in Violence and/or Other Dangerous Behavior?

The risk of violence and/or homicide rises.

13. Has Your Abuser Violated a Restraining Order or Protection Order Before? 

The risk of violence and/or homicide rises.

Suggested Reading: Will a Narcissist Obey a Restraining Order?

14. Is There Any Kind of Sexual Violence or Sexual Coercion Going On? 

Abusers who tend to force sexual encounters are more likely to move to lethal actions.

Healing from various forms of abuse, including sexual violence and coercion, requires targeted resources and guidance.

15. Has Your Abuser Ever Abused You In Public? 

The risk of violence and/or homicide rises.

16. Is There Any Kind of Cyberstalking Going On? 

Constant texts and phone calls, a need to be updated on your whereabouts, or the installation of spyware/tracking devices on your computer or phone are huge indicators of potential violence and/or homicide. 

What Should You Take Away From This Article?

Abuse of any kind (e.g. physical, sexual, emotional/psychological,) is never justifiable.

If you are in an abusive relationship, we strongly encourage you to reach out to anyone you can to get the help you need to safely leave the relationship. 

About the Author

Hey, I’m Elijah.

I experienced narcissistic abuse for three years. 

I create these articles to help you understand and validate your experiences.

Thank you for reading, and remember, healing is possible even when it feels impossible.

If you’re ready to heal, visit The Institute of Healing from Narcissistic Abuse to get started.



  1. I don’t know how serious our situation is but my father is an alchoholic and he had some times where he behaved pretty badly towards us and others. He’s been working in another country since like 2016 but he comes like every 2 months and stays for a week in our home country and visits us and stays for about 2 days. During that time it’s really though because he starts arguments with my mother, constantly does something around the house, constantly asks me to do this that with him and it’s just exhausting to be around him considering the mostly verbal and emotional abuse we went through because of him. He also literally always denies to be at fault or either blames someone else for what he did. Positive thing is he does seem to be a very weak man and when you stand your ground he does seem to back off. My mother constantly just downplays it all and isn’t doing anything about him (because she is used to it). I just want to feel safe and happy.

    1. Hi Chris,

      Thank you for leaving a comment.

      I’m sorry this is a worry for you.

      First, I highly recommend you take these two assessments to determine the level of danger you are in.

      1.) The Lethality Assessment

      Visit Here:

      2.) The Danger Assessment

      Visit Here:

      Second, I highly recommend you read this articles to learn more about the signs that indicate you are at risk of being seriously injured or killed.

      2.) Lethality Checklist (Dallas Police Department)

      Visit Here:

      Third, I created a free eBook with helpful information about creating safety plans, obtaining legal protection, and finding safe housing.​

      ​Click here: Escaping a Dangerous Narcissist​

      I hope these resources help you keep yourself safe.

      All the best,


  2. I know I am in ultimate danger.
    I’ve accepted that fact. Trying to keep my sons safe.
    Ten years of post separation escalating abuses. He told the psych facility doctors he’d already planned and implemented a psych murder plan to punish me.
    My pill event in 2015, in hindsight, it would likely take decades of therapy to return to that person from where I’m at now. It would be amazing to return to that state of mind of trust, of naivety, to only be suicidal.,.
    Denied any contact with son. He’s being told such lies.
    Any suggestions for how to keep moving right now appreciated.

    1. Hey Kori,

      First, I highly recommend you contact the proper authorities.


      Medical Emergency: 911
      Suicide Hotline: 988

      If you’re outside of the US or if you don’t need immediate help, check out these hotlines:

      Second, I know you said you’re in the ultimate danger, but taking these two assessments will help you determine the level of danger you are in.

      I’m not trying to downplay your experiences.

      I just know when I was distancing myself from the narcissist in my life, she got physically abusive, and looking back, knowing the level of danger I was in would have helped me make more informed decisions about my safety.

      1.) The Lethality Assessment

      Visit Here:

      2.) The Danger Assessment

      Visit Here:

      Third, I highly recommend you read this article to learn more about the signs that indicate you are at risk of being seriously injured or killed.

      1.) Lethality Checklist (Dallas Police Department)

      Visit Here:

      Fourth, I created a free eBook with helpful information about creating safety plans, obtaining legal protection, and finding safe housing.​

      Here it is: ​Escaping a Dangerous Narcissist​

      These resources have helped me keep myself safe from the narcissist in my life, and I hope they can do the same for you.

    2. Hey Kori how are you? After reading your message I just wanted to check in on you♥️
      Ive been there, weve all been there, soo many ppl have been exactly where you are right now.
      Lean on us!
      You are not alone♡

      1. Hi Amanda!

        Thank you for checking in on Kori!

        I hope she’s doing alright too.

        Again, thank you for taking the time to check in.

        I hope Kori reads your message!

        All the best,


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