10 Ways to Support Someone In a Narcissistic Relationship

If you know somebody who is in a narcissistic relationship, one of the best things that you can do to help them escape the abuse cycle is to learn how to support them.

10 Ways That You Can Support Someone In a Narcissistic Relationship:

1. Listen to them.
2. Validate their experiences.
3. Educate them about narcissistic abuse.
4. Encourage them to practice self-care.
5. Help them set healthy boundaries.
6. Offer them practical support.
7. Provide them with a safe space.
8. Help them rebuild their self-esteem.
9. Help them build a support system.
10. Remind them of their value.

This article is going to guide you through each of the 10 things that you can do to help someone in a narcissistic relationship so that you can have a meaningful impact on the lives of those close to you who are experiencing narcissistic abuse.

1. Listen to Them

The first way that you could support someone in a narcissistic relationship is by listening to them. 

What this means is giving them your full attention and actively trying to understand their thoughts, feelings, emotions, perspective, and experiences. 

This can be demonstrated through verbal and nonverbal cues, such as nodding, making eye contact, and expressing understanding by saying things like “I see” or “I hear you”.

Why is listening to a survivor of narcissistic abuse important?

Well, genuinely listening to someone can help build trust, create a sense of validation and acknowledgement, and foster a deeper connection with them.

These are all important elements of a healthy relationship that survivors of narcissistic abuse are often deprived of.

In addition to this, when you make a survivor of narcissistic abuse feel heard and understood, they are much more likely to feel supported, encouraged, and capable of opening up and sharing their thoughts, feelings, and emotions with you.

2. Validate Their Experience

The second way that you could support someone in a narcissistic relationship is by validating their experiences.

What does this mean?

Well, validating someone’s experiences means that you acknowledge and accept their experiences, along with the thoughts, feelings, emotions, and needs connected to their experiences, as valid and legitimate.

When used properly, validation is a healthy way of showing understanding and empathy.

It also lets the person that you are validating know that their thoughts, feelings, emotions, needs, experiences are important and matter.

Ok, so how do you validate the experiences of a survivor of narcissistic abuse?

You can do this through words and actions such as active listening, expressing empathy, and avoiding judgment or dismissive comments. 

Just like actively listening to someone, validating a person’s experiences, helps them feel heard and understood, and promotes a sense of safety and trust.

This is a really good way to support a survivor of narcissistic abuse because narcissistic abuse often manipulates those experiencing the abuse into questioning their own sanity, memories, perception of reality, and experiences.

By validating their experiences, you can help them regain a sense of self-confidence and trust in their own thoughts, feelings, emotions, and needs.

3. Educate Them About Narcissistic Abuse

The third thing that you could do to support a survivor of narcissistic abuse is to educate them about narcissistic abuse. 

What this means is that you would provide them with information and resources about the nature and dynamics of narcissistic abuse. 

The goal of educating a survivor of narcissistic abuse about the abuse is to help them understand the tactics and behaviors commonly used by narcissistic individuals, as well as the emotional and psychological impact of abuse.

With that being said, if you are trying to help someone who doesn’t know that they are in a narcissistic relationship, it is very important that you do not bluntly tell them that someone in their life is a narcissist. 

For example, you don’t want to walk up to your friend who is unknowingly in a narcissistic relationship and say, “Hey. Your boyfriend/girlfriend is a narcissist and you should leave them because they are never going to change.”

Why is this important?

Well, processing this type of information too soon could be incredibly triggering for them. 

You see, for survivors of narcissistic abuse, talking about the abuse and the narcissist can be triggering and cause a tremendous amount of emotional pain.

Bluntly telling them about the nature of narcissistic abuse can worsen these feelings and feel traumatizing.

One more thing…

It’s important to provide this education in a safe, supportive, and non-judgmental environment. 

Encouraging survivors of narcissistic abuse to seek additional support, such as therapy, can also be an important aspect of their education and healing process.

4. Encourage Them to Practice Self-Care

The fourth thing that you could do to support someone in a narcissistic relationship is to encourage them to practice self-care.

What does this mean?

Encouraging someone to practice self-care means promoting and supporting their physical, emotional, and mental well-being. 

Here are 6 examples of self-care activities that you could encourage:

1. Exercise
   • Physical activity such as yoga, lifting weights, walking, or running can help reduce stress and improve physical and mental health.
2. Healthy Eating
   • A balanced diet that includes nutritious foods can improve physical health and energy levels.
3. Relaxation
   • Activities such as meditation, deep breathing, or mindfulness can help reduce stress and promote relaxation.
4. Social Support
   • Connecting with healthy friends, family members, or support groups, can provide emotional and social support.
5. Self-Expression
   • Engaging in activities such as journaling, art, or music can provide an outlet for self-expression and promote healing.
6. Self-Reflection
   • Reflecting on their thoughts and feelings can help them understand and manage their emotions.

Keep in mind that self-care looks different for everyone.

It is important to encourage the person in your life who is experiencing narcissistic abuse to find activities and practices that work best for them. 

In addition to this, it’s also important to be mindful of any potential triggers and to respect their individual needs and boundaries.

5. Help Them Set Healthy Boundaries

The fifth thing that you could do to support someone in a narcissistic relationship is to help them set healthy boundaries.

What is a healthy boundary? 

A healthy boundary is a limit or guideline that an individual sets for themselves in order to protect their physical, emotional, and mental well-being and they are based on an individual’s own values, beliefs, and comfort levels.

Suggested Reading: How to Set Boundaries With a Narcissist

How can you help someone set a healthy boundary?

All you have to do is assist them in defining and communicating clear, specific, and appropriate limits in their relationships and interactions with others. 

Here’s the catch though…

The narcissist in their life is never going to respect the boundaries that they set. Therefore, those experiencing narcissistic abuse need to set boundaries that come from within.

6. Offer Them Practical Support

The sixth thing that you could do to support someone in a narcissistic relationship is to offer them practical support.

What this means is providing them with tangible assistance or resources to help them improve their overall situation. 

Here are 5 different forms of practical support that you could provide someone experiencing narcissistic abuse:

1. Logistical Support
   • Offering to help with tasks such as transportation, grocery shopping, or childcare.
2. Emotional Support
   • Offering a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on, or a source of encouragement.
3. Financial Support
   • Offering financial assistance, such as lending money or covering expenses.
4. Information and Resources
   • Offering information, referrals, or resources that may help them improve their situation.
5. Accommodations 
   • Offering to make physical or logistical accommodations, such as allowing them to stay in your home or providing them with access to essential resources.

Practical support can be incredibly valuable for someone experiencing narcissistic abuse because it helps them work towards improving their situation with a sense of relief and stability. 

By offering practical support, you can show someone that you care and are willing to help in a tangible and meaningful way.

7. Provide Them With a Safe Space

The seventh thing that you could do to support someone in a narcissistic relationship is to provide them with a safe space.

To do this, all you have to do is create an environment where the survivor of narcissistic abuse feels accepted, respected, and free from judgment or harm. 

A safe space allows them to express themselves authentically and to feel secure.

Here are 6 ways to create a safe space for a survivor of narcissistic abuse:

1. Respect Confidentiality
   • Keep their information private and only share it with those who need to know.
2. Show Empathy
   • Listen to them without judging them and try to understand their perspective.
3. Avoid Blaming Them
   • Don’t blame or criticize them for their experiences or actions.
4. Validate Their Feelings
   • Acknowledge and validate their feelings, even if you don’t fully understand or agree with them.
5. Offer Them Support
   • Provide emotional, practical, and/or financial support as needed.
6. Don’t Judge Them
   • Don’t make assumptions or impose your own values and beliefs on them.

By providing someone with a safe space, you can help a survivor of narcissistic abuse heal, process their experiences, and move forward in a positive and healthy way.

8. Help Them Rebuild Their Self-Esteem

The eighth thing that you could do to help someone experiencing narcissistic abuse is to help them rebuild their self-esteem.

What is self-esteem?

Self-esteem is how we value and perceive ourselves.

Helping a survivor of narcissistic abuse rebuild their self-esteem means supporting them in developing a positive and healthy view of themselves.

Suggested Reading: 10 Ways to Build Self-Esteem After Narcissistic Abuse

Over time, this will help them develop a positive sense of self-worth and feel confident in their abilities and decisions.

9. Help Them Build a Support System

The ninth thing that you could do to support someone in a narcissistic relationship is helping them build a support system. 

A support system is a network of people that can provide practical or emotional support.

To help a survivor of narcissistic abuse build a support system all you have to do is assist them in creating a network of people and resources that can provide them with emotional, practical, and/or financial support. 

Why is this important?

Well, having a strong support system can help survivors of narcissistic abuse cope with stress, navigate challenging situations, and recover from difficult experiences.

With that being said, you do have to be very careful when assisting them because not everyone understands narcissistic abuse. 

Suggested Reading: How to Explain Narcissism to Others

In fact, it is very common for survivors of narcissistic abuse to be dismissed or ignored when they use terms such as “narcissist” or “narcissism.”

Because of this, it is important to make sure that the people they surround themselves with are supporters, not narcissist enablers or flying monkeys. 

10. Remind Them of Their Value

The tenth thing that you could do to support someone in a narcissistic relationship is remind them of their value.

This is a big one.

When you remind someone of their value, it means that you remind them of their worth as a person and the qualities that make them special.

Why is this important?

Well, reminding someone of their value helps them see and understand the good in themselves, even when they might be struggling to see it themselves.

Sadly, it is very common for survivors of narcissistic abuse to struggle to see the good in themselves.

This is almost always the case because of the narcissist’s negative projections.

Projection is a defense mechanism that occurs when someone takes a part of their own identity that they find unacceptable and places it on someone else.

A common example of this could be a cheating spouse accusing the other spouse of cheating instead of taking responsibility for his/her own actions.

Now, narcissists have many painful thoughts, feelings, and emotions suppressed within themselves.

These painful thoughts, feeling, and emotions are the parts of their identity that they find unacceptable.

One of the ways that narcissists “manage” them is by simply projecting them onto the people that they abuse through abuse and manipulation.

Suggested Reading: Why Do Narcissists Use Projection?

This allows them to figuratively point their finger at the person that they are abusing and think to themselves, “I’m not the one who is unlovable, unwanted, worthless, weak, and inadequate, they are.”

Over time, it is very common for survivors of narcissistic abuse to adopt the narcissist’s negative projections as their own. 

This is why reminding someone experiencing narcissistic abuse of their value is so important.

Two of the best ways that you can do this are:

1. Acknowledging Their Strengths and Accomplishments
   • Be sure to highlight their positive qualities, achievements, and successes, and help them see the positive impact they have made in the world.
2. Showing Your Appreciation
   • It is always a good idea to express your appreciation for them and the role they play in your life.

By reminding survivors of narcissistic abuse of their value, you can help them feel valued, appreciated, and confident in their abilities and decisions.

What Should You Take Away from This Article

Just to wrap this article up, 10 of the best ways that you can support someone experiencing narcissistic abuse are:

1. Listen to them.
2. Validate their experiences.
3. Educate them about narcissistic abuse.
4. Encourage them to practice self-care.
5. Help them set healthy boundaries.
6. Offer them practical support.
7. Provide them with a safe space.
8. Help them rebuild their self-esteem.
9. Help them build a support system.
10. Remind them of their value.

Thank you so much for reaching this article! It is great that you are looking for ways to support someone experiencing narcissistic abuse. I hope that you found this content helpful and I hope that you have a great rest of your day!