3 Differences Between the Love Bombing and Honeymoon Phase

If you’re currently in a narcissistic relationship, you may ask, “How do I know if I am in the love bombing or honeymoon phase?”

The love bombing phase occurs at the beginning of a relationship, making the target emotionally dependent on the abuser. The honeymoon phase occurs after an instance of abuse, causing the target to believe the abuse was an isolated incident; change is possible, and things will be different moving forward.

In this article, I will guide you through these differences to help you better understand the love bombing and honeymoon phase.

1.) The Timing of Each Phase

Love bombing occurs at the very beginning of a relationship. 

It is an immediate and intense outpouring of affection, attention, and compliments. 

Here are seven things an abusive person could say during the love bombing phase:

1. “I’ve never met anyone like you.”
2. “It feels like we’ve known each other forever.”
3. “You’re the missing piece in my life.”
4. “I can’t believe how quickly I’ve fallen for you.”
5. “I think about you all the time.”
6. “You have changed my life.”
7. “You deserve all the best things in life. I want to give them to you.”

The honeymoon phase takes place after an instance of abuse within a relationship. 

The abusive person will be full of apologies, act with kindness, and promise to change.

Here are seven things an abusive person might say during the honeymoon phase:

1. “I’m so sorry for what I did.”
2. “I promise I’ll never hurt you like that again.”
3. “That wasn’t the real me; you know that.”
4. “I’ll do whatever it takes to make it up to you.”
5. “I hate myself for hurting you.”
6. “Can you help me change and be a better person?”
7. “We can move past this and have the future we always dreamed of.”

Suggested Reading: 11 Things Narcissists Do During the Love Bombing Phase

2.) The Reasoning Behind Each Phase

The purpose of the love bombing phase is to create a trauma bond.

Now, the abusive person isn’t necessarily thinking, “I want to create a trauma bond.”

Instead, they are trying to manipulate the target into feeling emotionally dependent on them despite the abuse (i.e., trauma bonding).

Here are five thoughts one might have during the love bombing phase.

1. “I feel so special.”
2. “I think we are soulmates.”
3. “This is overwhelming, but maybe it’s what true love is.”
4. “They’re so attentive; they must really care about me.”
5. “I’ve never been seen like this; it’s comforting.”

The intent behind the honeymoon phase is to reset the narrative. 

The apologies, acts of kindness, and promises to change are not signs of the abusive person showing genuine remorse about their behavior.

Instead, it is an attempt to downplay the severity of their abusive actions and to give the target of their abuse a glimmer of hope that things can change. 

Here are five thoughts one might have during the honeymoon phase.

1. “They sound so sincere this time. I think they really mean it.”
2. “I can see a change in them. Maybe they’ve finally realized.”
3. “After all those kind gestures, they must be trying to make things right.”
4. “They swore it was a one-time thing. I want to believe them.”
5. “With the way they’re acting now, I feel like we’re finally getting back on track.”

Suggested Reading: 3 Reasons Trauma Bonds Feel Like an Addiction

3.) The Impact Each Phase Has on You

After experiencing love bombing, the target may begin to rely heavily on the abuser for emotional validation, mistaking this manipulated bond for a genuine connection. 

This dependency can cloud their judgment, making it challenging to recognize just how manipulative and unhealthy their bond with the abuser is.

Here are six things one might say to others pointing out the relationship’s abusive aspects during the love bombing phase.

1. “You don’t understand. They’ve been there for me like no one ever has.”
2. “It’s just their way of showing love. They’re more expressive than most.”
3. “I’ve never felt this connected to someone.”
4. “It’s not manipulation, it’s genuine affection.”
5. “You’re overreacting. They’re just passionate about our relationship.”
6. “Everyone has their own way of loving, and this is theirs.”

When the target experiences the honeymoon phase, they may start to believe that the abuse was an isolated incident, change is possible, and things will be different. 

As a result, the target might stay, hoping for a brighter future, not realizing they’re caught in a cycle of abuse that won’t end unless they do something about it.

Here are six things one might say to others pointing out the relationship’s abusive aspects during the honeymoon phase.

1. “They apologized and are really trying to make up for it.”
2. “It was just that one time; they’ve been so different since.”
3. “They’ve shown so much regret; I believe they want to change.”
4. “Every relationship has its ups and downs. We’re working through it.”
5. “It’s not as bad as you’re making it out to be. Everyone makes mistakes.”
6. “They’ve been making a genuine effort lately.”

Suggested Reading: 8 Reasons Love Bombing Is Dangerous

What Should You Take Away from This Article?

The love bombing phase occurs at the beginning of the relationship; it is designed to make the target feel dependent on the abuser, and it causes the target to rely on the abuser for emotional validation.

The honeymoon phase occurs after an instance of abuse, and it is designed to manipulate the target into believing the abuse was an isolated incident; change is possible, and things will be different moving forward.

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