Someone in our community asked: “When do narcissists typically get bored with a person they’re getting supply from?” It’s a great question! Here’s my answer.
As a general rule, a narcissist will get bored with you when you set boundaries with them, can no longer enhance their image, challenge or criticize their actions, show signs of independence, or when the relationship becomes routine and predictable.
In this article, I will break down these five reasons to help you understand the common triggers that cause a narcissist to get bored with people.
1.) When You Set Boundaries
Narcissists thrive on validation, admiration, reassurance, power, and control from others, which is often referred to as “narcissistic supply.”1
Generally speaking, they use manipulation tactics to get this supply.2
So, when you start setting boundaries with them, what often happens is they view you as a much less reliable source of narcissistic supply.
As a result, it is very common for them to lose interest in you and search for a new, more reliable source of supply.
For example, imagine you always praised a narcissist for every small achievement and made yourself available whenever they needed you.
Over time, you realize their narcissistic behavior is draining and decide to focus more on your needs, saying “no” more often and not offering praise as freely.
Because of your new boundaries, the narcissist starts to feel that they’re not getting the same level of attention or admiration from you as before.
So, they lose interest in you (getting bored) and search for a new source of narcissistic supply because, in their eyes, you are no longer reliable.
Related (Free Course): How to Set Boundaries with a Narcissist
2.) When You Can No Longer Enhance Their Image
Narcissists often view relationships as tools to enhance their own image.3
If they perceive that being associated with you no longer benefits them in the way it once did, it is common for them to lose interest in you.
For example, say you and the narcissist started dating when you had a high-profile job that made you well-known and respected in your industry.
This status attracted the narcissist because they saw you as someone who could boost their image and introduce them to influential people.
They loved being associated with your success, often boasting to others about your role and how it benefited them.
However, when you lost your job and the lifestyle and connections that came with it, the narcissist’s interest in you started to fade.
Why?
Well, the narcissist’s boredom with the relationship isn’t just about a loss of interest in you as a person. Believe me; this isn’t your fault.
It’s directly tied to the tangible benefits your association once provided.
You see, your job loss and the subsequent changes in your lifestyle directly affect how the narcissist sees your value.
This shift caused them to lose interest and seek the excitement, status, and validation they crave elsewhere, moving away from you in the process.
Related: What Do Narcissists Want In a Relationship?
3.) When You Challenge or Criticize Them
Narcissists have fragile self-esteem underneath their confident exteriors.4
They do not handle criticism well, even if it’s constructive or meant to help them grow.
If you begin to criticize or challenge their opinions, decisions, or behaviors, they may start to see you as an adversary rather than an ally.
Now, before I explain how this leads to them getting bored with you, let’s take a look at an example of what this shift could look like.
Imagine you notice a narcissist in your life making poor financial choices.
You decide to bring this up, expressing your concerns and suggesting better ways they could manage their finances.
Instead of appreciating your input, the narcissist sees this as an attack. They want unconditional support and admiration from you, not critique.
So, how can this make them get bored with you?
Well, they get bored because you’re no longer affirming their idealized self-image but are instead presenting them with a version of reality they don’t want to acknowledge.
Doing this is almost as quote-on-quote “bad” as setting boundaries with them because it drastically reduces the amount of narcissistic supply they can get from you.
Related: 7 Ways Narcissists React to Criticism
4.) When the Relationship Becomes Routine or Predictable
Narcissists often seek excitement and novelty in their relationships.5
They want to feel constantly stimulated and engaged, whether through drama, new experiences, or the thrill of getting to know someone.
When a relationship settles into a routine or becomes predictable, a narcissist might find it boring.
For example, imagine the early days with the narcissist are full of surprise dates and adventurous outings, keeping the relationship exciting.
For instance, they might whisk you away on a spontaneous trip to Europe, creating a sense of adventure and novelty.
However, as time passes and your relationship enters a more stable phase—think regular evenings in, weekend chores, and family gatherings—the excitement fades for the narcissist, causing them to become bored.
At this point, the narcissist might start seeking excitement outside the relationship through new social circles or even new romantic interests.
Their need for constant stimulation, fear of missing out on something more thrilling, and novelty-seeking tendencies pull them away from you.
As a result, you’re left feeling like you’re not enough or like you did something wrong, which, of course, isn’t the case.
Related: 5 Reasons Narcissists Create Drama
5.) When You Show Signs of Independence
Narcissists enjoy feeling needed because it reinforces their sense of superiority and control.
If you begin to show signs of independence or self-sufficiency, a narcissist might feel threatened and lose interest.
This is because your independence undermines their position of power and control in the relationship.
For example, imagine you’ve always turned to the narcissist for advice on everything, from what to wear to how to handle conflicts at work.
They’ve enjoyed being in this role because it makes them feel powerful and in control.
However, over time, you begin to feel more confident in your judgments and, as a result, make more decisions without consulting them.
For instance, you start exploring new interests on your own, like joining a photography class and going out with new friends you meet there.
This independence means you no longer seek their approval or rely on them for your social and emotional needs as much as you used to.
In a healthy relationship, this change would be encouraged.
But with a narcissistic partner, this change makes them feel ignored and less significant in your life, causing them to lose interest.
For more helpful information like this, visit Unfilteredd’s Institute of Healing from Narcissistic Abuse today.
What Should You Take Away from This Article?
Generally speaking, a narcissist will get bored with you for one of the following:
- You set boundaries with them.
- You can no longer enhance their image.
- You challenge or criticize their actions.
- You show signs of independence.
- The relationship becomes routine and predictable.
Thank you for reading! Please don’t hesitate to leave your thoughts in the comments below; I’d love nothing more than to be able to learn from your experiences.
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I experienced narcissistic abuse for several years and was shocked by just how common it is. I create these articles to spread awareness.
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