How to Survive No Contact with a Narcissist

This important question came from our community: “How do you survive going no contact with a narcissist?” I went looking for answers. Here’s what I ended up with.

To survive going no contact with a narcissist, you need to strengthen your support system, engage in self-care activities, set firm boundaries, work on redefining yourself, and educate yourself on narcissistic abuse.

In this article, I’ll help you understand the reason these actions are essential so that you can survive going no contact with a narcissist.

1.) Strengthen Your Support System

To survive going no contact with a narcissist, you’ll need a strong network of friends, family, or a support group who understand what you’re going through and can provide emotional support and encouragement. 

Now, to understand the reason this is true, I want you to imagine you’ve decided to stop all contact with the narcissist in your life.

At one point or another, you might feel alone and tempted to reach out to them again, especially during moments of weakness. 

This is when having a support system becomes crucial. 

You see, instead of reaching out to the narcissist, you could create a weekly dinner plan with close friends or family members. 

During these gatherings, you’ll be able to share your feelings and experiences, receiving not just empathy but also laughter and joy that distract you from the urge to reconnect with the narcissist.

Therefore, strengthening your support system is an important and empowering part of going no contact with a narcissist because it provides the support you’ll need to heal and move on with your life.

Related: Identifying Your Supporters Checklist

2.) Engage in Self-Care Activities

When you go no contact with a narcissist, engaging in self-care activities is essential because they can help you cope with the short- and long-term effects of narcissistic abuse.¹

Here’s a really simple example of what this could look like:

For context, mindful walking is the practice of becoming aware of your surroundings and how your body and mind feel while moving. 

Alright, so say you’re feeling confused and upset one afternoon because you miss the relationship, albeit toxic, you and the narcissist once had. 

Instead of dwelling on these feelings, you decide to go for a mindful walk to connect with your breath, the sensations in your body, and the nature around you.

This simple act of self-care shifts your focus from negative feelings to the positive aspects of your surroundings, helping you to appreciate the moment and the decision you’ve made for a healthier life.

It’s for this reason engaging in self-care activities is essential if you are to survive going no contact with the narcissist in your life.

But that’s not all…

There are many other benefits of practicing self-care, including:²

• Lower stress levels.
• Better sleep.
• Increased self-esteem.
• Improved productivity.
• Increased happiness.
• Lower likelihood of depression and anxiety.

So, overall, engaging in self-care activities like exercise, meditation, journaling, or pursuing hobbies that you enjoy can be incredibly healing.

Related: 10 Ways to Love Yourself After Narcissistic Abuse

3.) Set Firm Boundaries

Establishing and maintaining firm boundaries with the narcissist, their enablers, and their flying monkeys is crucial when going no contact.

This means blocking or muting them on social media, avoiding places they often hang out, and making it clear to mutual friends or family members that you do not wish to hear updates about them. 

The reason this is so important is because boundaries help protect your space³ and prevent the narcissist from finding ways to re-enter your life.

For example, suppose after going no contact, despite your efforts, you hear through a mutual friend that the narcissist is remarrying. 

Initially, this news stirs a mix of emotions in you, from shock to a sense of betrayal. However, you remember the boundaries you’ve set for yourself.

So, you decide to reinforce these boundaries even further. 

You kindly ask your mutual friends and family to respect your decision not to hear about the narcissist’s life events. 

You explain that hearing updates about them, such as their remarriage, hinders your healing process and emotional well-being. 

And as a result, your friends and family understand and agree to honor your request.

Over time, you notice the benefits of having such boundaries in place. 

For instance, you’re no longer blindsided by news about the narcissist, which allows you to focus on your growth and healing. 

And this distance from the narcissist’s life events empowers you to rebuild your self-esteem and move forward with your life. 

Takeaways?

The act of setting this boundary and seeing it respected by those around you reaffirms your strength and resolve.

In many ways, it helps you to prove to yourself that you can thrive without the narcissist’s presence in your life.

It is for this reason setting firm boundaries is an essential part of surviving going no contact with a narcissist.

Free Course: How to Set Boundaries with a Narcissist

4.) Work on Redefining Yourself

One of the most empowering steps you can take after going no contact with a narcissist is to work on redefining who you are. 

You see, it’s common to lose sight of your values, interests, and even your sense of self when you experience narcissistic abuse.⁴

So when you dedicate time towards redefining what you stand for, what you enjoy, and the goals you have in life, it can help you:

• Determine the direction you want your life to go.
• Build a life that is authentically yours.
• And survive going no contact. 

For example, let’s say you always had a dream of traveling or pursuing a specific career, but you put those dreams aside because of the narcissist.

But now, you’ve gone no contact with the narcissist in your life. So, you decide to revisit your old dreams and desired career. 

You start by taking small steps, such as enrolling in an online course or planning a solo trip to a place you’ve always wanted to visit. 

These small steps are super important because each action you take toward your goals helps rebuild your independence and self-worth. 

Over time, you begin to see yourself not as the person the narcissist tried to define you as but as the person you want to be.

Related: 10 Ways to Grow as a Person After Narcissistic Abuse

5.) Educate Yourself on Narcissistic Abuse

If you’re going to survive going no contact, it is important to educate yourself on narcissism, narcissistic abuse, and its effects on you.

Why?

Well, when you understand the “why” behind the narcissist’s actions and the “how” of their impact on your well-being, it becomes easier to remind yourself why staying away is essential for your health and happiness.

For example, after going no contact, say you spend some time each week reading articles and books about narcissistic behavior. 

One day, you come across a story that mirrors your own experience. 

This story:

• Is eye-opening.
• Provides you with a deep sense of validation.
• Reminds you that you’re not alone.
• And helps you accept the abuse wasn’t your fault.

Over time, the knowledge you gain from stories like this strengthens your resolve to stay no contact and helps you begin to heal from the abuse.⁵

What Should You Take Away from This Article?

To survive going no contact with a narcissist, you should do the following:

• Strengthen your support system.
• Engage in self-care activities.
• Set firm boundaries.
• Work on redefining yourself.
• Educate yourself on narcissistic abuse.

I appreciate you reading this article!

If anything sparked your interest or you have questions, the comments section is ready for you. Your feedback is important to me, and I’m excited to hear from you.

And If you’re ready to expand your knowledge on protecting yourself from narcissistic abuse, our latest articles provide everything you need to know.

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