When thinking about cutting a narcissist out of their life, people often ask, “When should I go no contact with the narcissist?”

7 Signs You Should Go No Contact:

  1. You’re experiencing emotional exhaustion.
  2. You fear for your safety.
  3. Your mental health is deteriorating.
  4. You’re becoming isolated from your other relationships.
  5. You’re losing your sense of self.
  6. Your boundaries are being violated.
  7. You’ve developed maladaptive coping strategies.

In this article, I will guide you through these seven signs to help you better understand when you should consider going no contact with the narcissist in your life.

1.) You’re Experiencing Emotional Exhaustion

Emotional exhaustion is the first sign that indicates you should consider going no contact with the narcissist in your life.

Emotional exhaustion isn’t just about feeling tired; it’s about reaching a point where you no longer have the emotional capacity to deal with challenges, even minor ones. 

Someone feeling exhausted.

When this exhaustion is a recurring theme in your relationship, it’s a sign that the relationship is unhealthy and unsustainable.

Going no contact means recognizing that for your emotional health to recover and thrive, the source of the exhaustion (the narcissist) must be removed entirely. 

It’s about choosing a future where your emotional energy is spent on positive, nurturing interactions rather than being sapped by negativity.

2.) You Fear for Your Safety

The second sign that indicates you should consider going no contact with the narcissist in your life is fearing for your safety.

Suggested Reading:How to Know if a Narcissist Will Kill You (16 Signs)

This is because your relationships should be a source of support, trust, and security. 

When they’re not, it’s a sign that they are abusive or, at the very least, unhealthy. 

By going no contact, you’re putting your safety and well-being first, which is a step towards a life full of support, trust, and security.

3.) Your Mental Health is Deteriorating

The third sign that indicates you should consider going no contact with the narcissist in your life is the deterioration of your mental health.

You see, healthy relationships, even with their challenges, should largely contribute positively to your sense of self-worth and emotional well-being. 

When, instead, a relationship damages your mental health, it is a sign that the relationship is abusive or unhealthy.

In most cases, to regain and maintain your mental health, the damaging factor—the relationship with the narcissist—needs to be eliminated (no contact).

4.) You’re Becoming Isolated from Your Other Relationships

The fourth sign that indicates you should consider going no contact with the narcissist in your life is when you are being isolated from your other relationships.

You see, narcissists use tactics to isolate their targets from their support network.

Suggested Reading: 5 Ways That Narcissists Isolate You

This is because they know that by driving a wedge between you and your loved ones, they can create an environment where you’re vulnerable and dependent on them. 

A man isolating himself from his support network.

This isolation strategy helps the narcissist become the biggest influence in your life, making it easier for them to abuse and manipulate you without external interference.

Therefore, if you notice that you are being isolated from your other relationships, you should look into going no contact with the narcissist.

Cutting them out of your life will help you break free from their control and re-establish connections with those who have your best interests at heart.

5.) You’re Losing Your Sense of Self

The fifth sign that indicates you should consider going no contact with the narcissist in your life is losing your sense of self.

If you didn’t know already, the term “sense of self” refers to your perception of the collection of characteristics that define you.

It is common for those experiencing narcissistic abuse to lose their sense of self, and unsurprisingly, this isn’t by accident.

Narcissists intentionally use abusive and manipulative tactics such as gaslighting, self-victimization, and love bombing to corrupt the sense of self of their targets.

They do this because they want you to lose sight of your values, aspirations, and identity (sense of self), so you become more reliant on them. 

Why would they want this to happen?

Well, the more reliant you are on them for validation, direction, or even a sense of purpose, the more control they have over you.

This control allows them to keep you emotionally invested in the relationship, which makes it much easier for them to prevent you from setting boundaries with them.

So, if you notice you’re losing your sense of self in a narcissistic relationship, you should seriously consider going no contact.

Doing so will help you regain your independence and reduce the dependency that has been cultivated by the narcissist’s abusive and manipulative actions.

6.) Your Boundaries Are Being Violated

The sixth sign you should consider going no contact with the narcissist in your life is when your boundaries are consistently being violated.

Boundaries serve as protective barriers, limiting how others can behave towards us ensuring our emotional, mental, and physical safety. 

When a narcissist consistently violates these boundaries, it’s not merely an oversight—it’s an intentional act to undermine your autonomy and control. 

By disregarding the limits you set, the narcissist is trying to establish dominance over you, and they are disregarding your personal space and comfort in the process. 

Over time, this continuous infringement can wear you down, making it harder to enforce other boundaries or defend yourself in the future. 

It is for this reason a consistent violation of your boundaries is a sign you should go no contact that you don’t want to ignore.

Suggested Reading: How to Set Boundaries with a Narcissist (6 Steps)

7.) You’ve Developed Maladaptive Coping Strategies

The seventh sign that indicates you should consider going no contact with the narcissist in your life is developing maladaptive coping strategies.

Coping strategies are the behaviors, thoughts, and emotions people use to adjust to changes that happen in their lives. 

A woman meditating.

There are two types of coping strategies:

1.) Positive (adaptive)

2.) Negative (maladaptive)

Generally speaking, maladaptive coping increases stress and anxiety, while adaptive coping decreases it.

Some simple examples of maladaptive coping could be harmful behaviors such as self-harm, binge eating and substance abuse.

Resorting to these harmful behaviors to cope with a relationship is a glaring indicator of the relationship’s toxicity, which is the reason it is a sign you should go no contact.

In addition, choosing to go no contact provides you with an opportunity to heal and find healthier ways to cope and thrive without the toxic influence of the narcissist.

What Should You Take Away from This Article?

The seven signs you should go no contact with the narcissist in your life are:

  1. You’re experiencing emotional exhaustion.
  2. You fear for your safety.
  3. Your mental health is deteriorating.
  4. You’re becoming isolated from your other relationships.
  5. You’re losing your sense of self.
  6. Your boundaries are being violated.
  7. You’ve developed maladaptive coping strategies.

I hope this article brought you value, thank you so much for reading it!

About the Author

Hey, I’m Elijah.

I experienced narcissistic abuse for three years. 

I create these articles to help you understand and validate your experiences.

Thank you for reading, and remember, healing is possible even when it feels impossible.

If you’re ready to heal, visit The Institute of Healing from Narcissistic Abuse to get started.

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